Tuesday, 25 October 2011

find a friend

One of things I like about the Internet is the way that what might be barriers in the real world when it comes to making friends are no longer there.

I'm not just talking about distance here, more about the limits of our social groups and surroundings and the places we go to actually be able to interact with different people. On the web there are no barriers, and the friends that I have made don't just come from all corners of the planet, but all walks of life and all ages.
And I do consider some of them to be real friends, even though we have never met. After all if someone asked you to describe what makes a good friend many of the attributes you would give them do not require them to be sat in the same room.

Sometimes it's actually easier to talk about the really important difficult stuff with a stranger, people who aren't directly involved in your life can sometimes be more objective about things.
The vast numbers of anonymous blogs about very personal subjects is testament to that.
But if someone knows the intimate details of your life, has discussed them with you and perhaps offered words of wisdom, or maybe shares similar experiences to the point where you feel some degree of empathy with each other are they really a stranger ?

If the dialogue, in whatever medium you are using, occurs over any length of time then surely there comes a point where that person is regarded as a friend.

There's a point to this, I want to tell you all a story.

Amongst the people that I have met online is a young (well a lot younger then me) woman, I'll call her Ria. We got chatting in a forum for a while before I read Ria's blog, but when I did there was something there about a personal tragedy that I related to.
Then life dealt her another really awful shitty blow. WAY below the belt.
And it was that, and the fact that it made me want to share some private stuff about me which I thought might be of some value in a difficult decision she needed to make, that prompted us to begin conversing privately away from the forum.

During this time we had the pleasure of Ria's ex boyfriends company in the forum for a while, since he came there and abused her for a bit when he found out about the latest piece of news.
A right cunt charmer if ever there was one.
Trust me when I say this - if she was my daughter I would've called the police because what he was saying was harassment. Actually scrap that, if Ria was my daughter I would've found the cunt and kicked his fucking head in. What I did do was contact the forum moderator and get him removed.

So a little time goes on and I get a comment on my blog FROM THE EX. Saying some very personal things about Ria, absolutely not his business to divulge. Fucker tried to make it sound as if he was doing this out of some misplaced concern, that he was worried about her, and as he 'knew' she and I were talking he was hoping I would help her.
He even gave me her phone number.
I already had it - but he didn't know that. To him I was a stranger on the Internet, for all he knew I could've been a 60 year old pervert.
Around the same time Ria's best friend sent me an email, she wanted to let me know that Ria was ill, saying she had her phone as an explanation of how she got my address. I did find this a bit intrusive, but I figured she's young, worried about her best mate, and genuinely thought I would want to know - which of course I did, so I just thanked her.

I tell Ria about this. The issue for her then was how did her ex know all the stuff he was 'telling' me, and how did he know that we were friends. In the times that he had been in the forum there were lots of other people, nothing was exchanged there between Ria and I to suggest we chatted elsewhere.
Well guess what. He knew all this because her so called best friend was fucking him.
Apparently they are 'in love'. . . like either of these two low lifes even know the meaning of the word. And she got my email by snooping on Ria's phone.

Even without all the crap Ria has had to deal with - and believe me at her age most people would just crumble under the weight - fucking your friends ex is still a betrayal of the worst kind. And it turned out that they were actually fucking each other when Ria and him were still together.
Why would you even want to ?
Especially when you, more then anyone else, know what a total cunt he was to her and what an utter loser he really is.

These two have continued to leave messages in my comment box here, and the slut of an ex friend has emailed me several times trying to convince me that Ria is messed up (I'd be surprised if she wasn't), and trying to turn me against her with yet more personal stuff.
Which I already know as like I say, she and I are friends.
I ignore it. I've no desire to enter into any dialogue with a fucked up slapper who clearly has no morals and no fucking idea of what constitutes a true friend.
It's really none of my business, but she made it so by mailing me.
And she really is the one who's fucked up.
In every sense of that expression.

What I've written here is a tiny bit of what has happened, but the worst is that this bitch altered the one long email conversation we had (after her pestering my inbox all night, I told her what I thought of her and her actions) so it reads as if I'm telling her that I don't want anything to do with her or Ria, then forwarded it to Ria.
I've seen it, Ria sent it on to me.
Actually I've kept all the various comments and emails both of them have left me, as it's getting annoying and another mate who's a legal advisor has suggested I could take action against them for harassment.

But just how sick do you have to be to not only do the dirty on your best friend in the worst way - the main result of which is that right when she needs you the most you're gone from her life - but to also try and ruin any other friendship she might have.

Even if it is just an online one.
As far as those two (the ex and the ex friend) go, I'd say good riddance to bad rubbish whatever their motivations are. Not that that's much comfort to Ria.

But when a real life friend whose known you all you life can sink to actions so low and disgusting perhaps online friendships are in fact a better kind.
Even those of us who 'hide' behind user names are probably being far more honest about who we really are underneath our online facades. There are lot of people out there who discuss things with strangers on the net that even their nearest and dearest have no clue about.

Strange to think that someone on the other side of the world might just know you better then the friends you see every day ?

It happens.

Part of my lottery winning fantasy involves hiring an entire resort somewhere hot and sunny and paying for all the various people I've met via the Internet to fly in and join me.

Whose coming ???


  1. I can't see what the demonic pair were trying to achieve through their machinations. Perhaps they think wickedness is its own reward.

  2. This is it... because of the barrier of the internet and its anonymity, the 'friends' we choose don't have the ability to harm, unless we let them, or are overly sensitive.

    Unless I'm really careless, anything I tell anyone on here won't get back to my boss, or my family or people who are in my physical life, who are in the position to harm me.

    I used to post under my own name, but after discovering how easy it was to trace a hell of a lot of information about me from the internet, I adopted a pseudonym. I'd rather not but unfortunately because there are people like Ria's ex and best friend, it would be stupid not to.

  3. And I now have friends throughout the civilized world in places like England, Scotland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, China, Mexico, and Italy. And New Jersey.
    And that's not too shabby.

  4. It's always easier to blame others for the shit that goes on in life.
    To not do so, would means that those two animals (because they're certainly not behaving like humans) would have to look to themselves and finally realize just how much harm they've done. Obviously they aren't mature enough to face up to that responsibility and so will always remain TWATS! Bloody cowards.

  5. That's a very true thing you said about friends online. I don't have many online friends but at the same time I don't view them as any less important than any other friend of mine, like you say many attributes that make a friend don't need to come from being around them physically all of the time.

  6. Bastards, that's all I've got to say about that. I will join you at the Cowgirl Lottery Resort, sounds like a good time meeting the gang. I love that last picture on your post. I may have to use that one at work!

  7. I would totally join you on that resort. I've met a lot of great people online myself, I've told total strangers things I haven't told my family, though my best friend knows a lot more about me than my family (my sister even admitted this to her). It's a real messed up situation your friend found herself in. I'm glad she has someone like you to be there for her, I can readily admit if Jessie wasn't there for me I'd either be dead or in prison by now. Although I managed to get by for two years without her so who knows? Anyway, this isn't about me, I hope things get better for Ria down the line, and they should do, for she has you. One internet friend has become more valuable to her than her real best friend and ex boyfriend.

  8. *These* are just some of the reasons I hate people... (shakes head in amazement)

    It's not THAT much harder to be a decent human being, but some folks just insist on bein' dicks.

    (On a side note, @Lily~ Thank you for your usage of "twats". I think that's spectacular!)

  9. dirty ... with the things i've seen in this life, NOTHING surprises me anymore. i'm so sorry for your friend to have to be tormented even more by people with no morals.

  10. What ass wipes. That's pretty much as bad as the women who fucked my husband when we were still married. I hate that kind of shit, and I'm glad you are Ria's friend.


  11. I could choose to say a lot more.
    But like I always say, each day I learn something about life and people.
    These never cease to amaze me. Most times, I end up disappointed about the deterioration of human beings, yet they still live.
    'nuff said.

  12. I agree with you and the others who say that online friends are just as valuable as face-to-face friends. I have established firm friendships with people who I may never meet but still hold them dearly. Ria is blessed to have found a friend in you, dcg. :)

  13. Like you have pointed out is the flip side to making friends on the net is there are some strange ones out there, there really are !

    They sound like they could both do with a slap then build a bridge and get over it ( being a pair of cunt's) !

    P.s Book me a place on the resort and tell them to get in plenty of jack Daniels !

  14. That is some crappy drama. I've gone into chat rooms and there are people arguing over who did who and who said what in a chat room. It's like they have just extended their crappy lives into the internet.
    I guess I just never understood that.

  15. I'm sorry your friend has had to go through this crap. She is lucky to have found a friend like you...

  16. All I'm gonna say is thanks for the comments, I'm glad you guys agree with my opinion about these two. Pair of cunts if ever there was any.

    And when I win the lottery you're all invited :)

  17. i'm there! sign me up! i'll bring a portable sauna!

  18. Yeah man that sucks for you guys. So sorry!


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