Monday, 20 February 2012


Last night I decided to go through my list of followed blogs and I have come to the conclusion that I am in fact the jinx of new blogs.
Seriously, I found eight that I started to follow when they first began that have not posted since. If it was just one or two then I wouldn't worry, but EIGHT ?
(And this is all within the last few months).

Yup, I think it might be me.

Apparently it's fine if I join an established blog, but you really don't want me to be amongst your first followers, guaranteed to make you lose your mojo faster then you can reply to a comment.

Normally when someone gives me an award I tend to just add it to the trophy cabinet award page, because I do appreciate the thought behind them, but generally I can't be arsed to don't comply with the various conditions that tend to come attached to them.
Rules are made to be broken and all that.
And anyway when they give out the Oscars do they place conditions on them ? Or tell the recipients that they have to pass them on to 45 other people ?

If I get an award I want to wallow in the glory and adulation, I don't want to pass it on and share it.
Call me selfish I don't really care.

Same applies to the tagging posts.
You end up with a feed full of posts from one of the little blog communities all saying the same thing.
But I was recently tagged by Workingdan and found another tag response I started saved in my draft posts, so since I have nothing interesting to write about I'm bored I've decided to reply to them.

Dans first.
I have to answer these questions :

1.  Of all the species in the world, which one is your favourite to eat?
I am so tempted to write one very rude word in response to this. But I won't, I'll stick with the female of the species instead and say chicken. Although I really like fish too.

That explains it then.
Surely if you're craving something you're either hungry or pregnant.

2. What is your favourite recreational substance and why?
I could actually give the same answer as I was going to use for the first question, but I know what he means so MDMA. Although it's been a very long time since I had any.
3. What is your favourite joke to tell?
I have so many - all filthy and all courtesy of my Dad, but I'll stick with this one :
What is the difference between a clitoris and a pub ?
Men can usually find the pub.
4. What do you like most about my blog?
Oh come on ! Could there be a more attention seeking question ?
I think I am supposed to make up four questions of my own and then tag some people.
Fuck that.

This is the other one, it was so long ago I can't even remember who it was that tagged me in it, but I liked the idea. I suppose if any of you are as bored as me you could do it too, being as I haven't got to think up questions to pass it on.
It was called Three. But then it would've made no sense to call it Five.

Three TV programmes that make you cry laughing.
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Pete versus Life
Peep Show

Three songs that made you cry.

Three things (not children) you consider your pride and joy.
My records and technics decks
My cats
My shoes

Three things that constantly annoy you.
Bad spelling and grammar
Rude / stupid people
Train delays

Three things you want to do before you die.
Visit Vietnam
Fly in a military jet (it has to loop the loop too).
Fuck Vin Diesel. Yeah I know, he's gay, but it's my list.

There was another dozen 'three' things, but that's quite enough of that.

I don't know if many of you across the pond will of seen the news a few weeks ago about the cruise ship that sunk in Italy, or be familiar with how inappropriate the UK press can be at times. But this is an actual front page from one of our papers a couple of days after it happened.
Unbelievable and very unfortunate.
And funny.

But then what do you expect from an English paper. . . .

Mind you, I think America has a few problems too.
I have had a feeling all along that Obama might not be quite what he seems. My original thoughts when he was being compared to Martin Luther King were that America was missing something - the man is a black moslem - surely that's more akin to Malcom X ? But apparently I was wrong.

Look at this,

Notice anything odd ?
No ? Well look at this,

That is Doctor Who and his Tardis. Now look again. . . .

Makes me wonder. . . .
We all know that the doctor changes his appearance every time he rejuvenates.
The first black president may in fact be the first black Dr Who.

But don't worry, if he does turn out to be a bad guy Batbear can save you.

As if being a bear isn't scary enough.
I wonder if he lives in a bat cave or a bear cave.

Yeah I'm rambling now.
I will leave you with this, and actual sign on the door of a chemist near where I work.

No, I don't work anywhere near a safari park.


  1. Great answers to all the questions Dirty Cow Girl, that Bowie and Placebo collaboration is really amazing. I'm with you when it comes to seeing bloggers fall off the face of the blogosphere although I don't think it was immediately after I started following most of them which is weird. Out of everybody I miss Hasidic Plumber the most, I still follow him in hopes he'll some day return!

    1. Isn't it just ? One of those songs I can never just listen to once. I love it when a teenage hero (Bowie) pairs up with a newer band, and I love Placebo too.
      The plumber posted on Twitter a while ago, so I replied and he said he would get back into it at some point. I hope so too though, I liked his blog a lot.

      Unless the racoons have finally got him...

  2. There you go again, confusing them with the term "bin", they are going to think your saving all the spam comments in a nice little area to be graded and praised.

    I will translate for you: She is going to throw your fucking spam in the trash so don't bother leaving it.

    I think the "I Will Not Keep Calm and You Can Fuck Off" award quite possibly the best I have seen.

    As for Obama, I just can't trust someone who has a wife that damn ugly. It just tells me he has no common sense at all.

    1. You know I love to confuse people Shea, I am trying to think of a presidents wife that was attractive... none since Jackie O that I can think of.
      I mean Nancy Reagan ? Anorexic prune.

    2. What about Eleanor Roosevelt? That hottie had it going on. For blind people.
      Then, there's "Crazy As Fuck" Mary Todd Lincoln. Who insisted Abe go to the play when all wanted to do was wait until it came on DVD.
      Or Martha Washington. She had a real problem with George being known as "Father of His Country." "George Washington Slept Here", indeed.
      There was no Mrs. James Buchanan though. James was known as a "Bachelor President." Yep. I know what you're thinking. Vin Diesel.
      Michelle Obama? Baby got back.

  3. I did not know Vin Diesel was gay. Bummer.

    1. Don't worry Eva, I plan to show him the error of his ways.

    2. Vin Diesel's gay!!?? Thank God he never returns my calls.

  4. We did hear about the ocean liner here in the US and many of us don't trust Obama either.

    1. I hear George W. Bush was responsible for that ocean liner.

    2. Poppy did it, but W. took the credit.


  5. I can't believe that meeting me wasn't on your list of things to do before you die. We are no longer as one. You are not my best friend. I don't even know if I like you.

    Infinities of Love,

    1. I thought it was a given - which is why I didn't feel it necessary to put on the list.


    2. I feel much better now. Good God, that was an excellent volley. No ace for me.

  6. Obama is closer to being Dr Who than a Muslim, so your perception of him is gradually becoming more accurate. Maybe in 3 months time you'll think he's Uncle Remus, which would be a further improvement. You're 100% accurate in your assessment of blog awards, though.

    1. I would love to know how you reached that conclusion GB.
      And I'm always 100% right, about everything.

  7. Your blog is hilarious. I like your style, girl! I agree about the strings that come with accepting awards. I am far too concerned with myself to want to include others in my blog award glory. Why would I want an award that can be found on 1500 blogs throughout the land?

    Vin, huh? I prefer The Rock. Dwayne Johnson. Damn. That's all I can say about that man. Damn.

    I'm not concerned that my blog with disappear if you visit. You are welcome anytime. ;)

    1. Thanks, be careful though, the jinx is out of my control.

  8. I was tagged approximately a week ago, but I shot the tag and chopped it up into bits. I like to lie when allowed to speak about any topic I see fit to go on about, but when someone asks me a specific question, I can't help but be honest. I certainly don't want anyone to know anything about me. Based on my stats, someone is searching for me by name AND ip address. If I have a stalker when I lie, imagine what will happen if and when I tell the truth!?!

    1. Based on my stats people search for me by typing "anal gadget" and "man fucks steak".

      And you think you've got problems....

  9. Holy crap that IS the TARDIS. Just...WHAT? Wait what? Also Without You I'm Nothing just reached new heights when Bowie was put into it. Or should that be new lows?

  10. I just want to thank you. I've had a very rough night and that was the laugh I needed.

  11. I do not believe in the dirtycowgirl curse! (I think there's just a high mortality rate for new blogs.)

    I know the blog awards are great for... synergy between blogs. I just can't imagine that I could bring myself to complying with the award conditions. I have no conscious control over what I write about.

    1. I hope so, I wonder how many neglected blogs there really are. I found one last week that had about four posts, all of which were hilarious but when I looked the last one was posted in 2009.

      I think maybe some are started and then the owners forget their log-ins.

  12. That's an idea. Who is the blogger who inexplicably stopped blogging that you miss the most? I actually tried to get ahold of Scoops several times. Alas. Ooh, also I wanted to ask how many hits did you get on your Valentine's day post?

    1. I don't know, I guess the ones I was talking about here I don't really miss because they never got going.
      But there are two that I really wish would post, The Hasidic Plumber that Yeamie mentioned, he just seemed to disappear, and Bizzle. And I know Biz is still around, he just needs to get his lazy arse writing again.

      And stupidstu - but he's sunning himself with his lady in exotic places atm so I don't really blame him for having better things to do.

      77, since I reposted it. Not sure how many before that, it started getting lots of hits about 10 days before.

  13. the first black dr who vs batbear... hmmm now I'll be thinking of this all day!

    1. That might just make a great Marvel story...

  14. I only tagged you to help you find your mojo. I think it worked! That was the first and last game of tag or any award I will ever comply with. Gotta try things at least once, right?

    As for the last question...absolutely! I am owner and CEO of "Shameful Promotions" so of course I'm gonna seek attention for myself! That and I was tired of thinking of stupid questions to ask. I felt so lame actually participating in the tagging bullshit! Never again!

  15. Luckily, 'Penwasser Place' is still hanging around, so we're good.

    I always wondered why I craved crackers.

  16. I love that pic of Obabma with the Tardis in the background lol
    Great blog - following

  17. Batbear and Vin D are totally shacking up in West Hollywood as we speak.
    I love this random shit.
    AND I plan to knit a hat for my cat.
    Keep up the stupid talk, it feeds me.
    Not like a pregnant carnivore though. Unless you consider canibalism carnivorous, which I do not.

  18. I heard Vin is bi, not gay. But he keeps his boys on the DL. That's why I would never fuck him. Yeah, the only thing holding us back are my standards. ;). Well deserved award. *applause*

  19. Yeah Jamie's right, Vin's bi. Well deserved award DCG (applause)!

    And nope, not a dodgy post at all.


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