Oh dear me Dave, looks like you're at it again.
First up I saw on the news that you are "renewing your vows" with. . . well I don't know his name. . .the lib dem fella with whom you are supposed to be having a political coalition. I guess the fact that I don't know his name says a lot about how high his profile is.
Not exactly sharing the limelight with him are you ?
But the press made it sound like you were entering into a civil partnership. So I gotta wonder about you now. . .
Especially as I also saw an article about a former girlfriend of yours who after giving up drink and drugs is now a nun. That musta been some bad sex you had to make her become an addict then choose a life a celibacy.
But the main reason I feel compelled to write to you yet again is another article that I saw posted on G+. Here you go again, trying to win us over with yet another stupid idea that you no doubt think the British public will approve of.
Apparently you are going to look into getting porn switched off from the UK Internet. This latest stroke of
".....dear ISP I need some light relief, can you bring the lesbians back please..."
Obviously you are not a fan of pornography, otherwise you might've learnt enough about sex to not put that previous girlfriend off it for life, but let me tell you something.
Internet porn is not just watched by perverts and weirdos. Normal, healthy, happy, everyday, curious, rich, poor, young, old, male, female, couples, straight, gay, and every other variation of the human race watch it too.
And trust me when I tell you that if that idea were ever realised you would alienate A LOT of people. It's really not a vote winning plan. Porn is one of those things that some people will never admit to enjoying, but the industry would not be as huge as it is if it were just watched by a small minority, I think you need to consider that.
Actually don't. You might change your mind and decide to find a way to tax us for watching it.
And seriously, do you honestly think you can do that ?
Go against a world-wide million dollar industry and remove the thing that (lets be honest here) is one of the main reasons the Internet got so popular so quickly. Your name is Dave, not Big Brother, and whilst you might be
Or dictate what we watch on it.
The proposal came about as the result of an enquiry into online child protection, and because the abundance of Internet porn is having a harmful effect on children. Nobody would dispute that. I remember a documentary a while ago about kids watching porn which proved the point so well. The one lad that stuck in my mind had invited a young lady back to his house for some shenanigans, and was telling the presenter that he couldn't understand why she had objected when he tried to put his best friend in her rear end "because that's what they do in porn". And there must be a lot of young people who think that unless you look like a porn star - hairless, big fake tits or a huge cock, you're not going to get any and if you don't bend like a contortionist and keep it up for hours you're doing it wrong.
But what is really needed to stop that is parents to be fully aware of and monitor their children's online activities. Not government intervention, unless they are going to put some money in the pot for education.
Yeah fat chance.
Teenagers are always going to be curious about porn but if you educate them about sex and relationships the right way then they will see it for what it is. You need to look at the root of the problem - not the symptom.
[I could say plenty more about this, and the fact that paedophiles use the Internet to groom children, but again that's about parenting, and it's nothing that people aren't already aware of. Banning porn will do nothing to stop that, I don't actually think that the Internet has increased child pornography at all. It has always been there, what the Internet did was enable the sick fucks who like it to share with others and build bigger networks. As awful as that is - and as someone who has worked with the victims I understand the effects and impact all too well - what it actually did was make their communications and networks visible. Nothing you do on a computer is ever truly erased, my opinion is that thanks to modern technology more of them have been caught - catch one with a computer and you catch all his contacts too - and that is a good thing].
Ban something and it just becomes all the more attractive.
And anyway Dave do you think that if you were successful it would stop anyone who wanted to from watching porn ?
Yeah right. Because nobody ever saw any before the Internet was invented did they.
I guess you never experienced the trauma of the VHS getting all chewed up in the machine and being unable to eject it before your flatmates came back. Or worried that your Mum had found your smutty magazines when you came home and saw that she had tidied your room for you.
I'm off, I need to download a few files. . . just in case.
(You can read the article about the Internet HERE. And Daves Ex HERE)
Because I'm not making this shit up.
I don't need to, Dave is the gift that just keeps on giving.
Unless your poor, out of work or homeless.
Or single and horny.
