Thursday, 27 October 2011


Good grief they sell some shit on the late night shopping channels.
It's nearly as bad as Kleenezee.

Don't be thinking I make a habit of watching this crap.
I can't sleep, so I'm sat on the sofa with my laptop and Son has been swearing at Americans killing zombies on the Xbox.
Normally he waits until I've gone to bed, but tonight I made the hilarious discovery that he has taken to sitting on my gym ball when he does this.

He buggered off to bed half an hour ago and the TV was just on in the background. I wasn't taking any notice of it until I heard someone mention something called the Ahh Bra.
Apparently I should throw away my 'uncomfortable' underwired contraptions as the way they push the jamoonas together does not look good, and spend SIXTY POUNDS on one of these.

So what do you think ?

Do boobs look better in this . . .

Or this . . .

Should women go for comfort ?

Or grin and bear the 'pain and discomfort' to look like this . . .

They cater for every occasion, according to the advert this is the 'sexy black version' . . .

Really ?
If that's their idea of sexy I sure as hell wouldn't want to see the unsexy ones.

Bet they don't look like this.
I know which one I prefer.

They claim to have sold 500 million of these worldwide.
That'll be a lot of men suddenly wishing their ladies would keep their tops ON then. Although they reckon a great selling point is that these delightful undergarments are sized like clothes - no cup sizes - so if you know someone's top size "men can buy them for their girlfriends".

Don't all rush to the shops now guys.

If a fella bought me one of them I'd be asking him if he thought I was his granny.

And even when nobody is likely to see it I still want to be wearing a bra that makes the most of my top bollocks. Just for me, it makes me feel good if I think I look good.

Gotta go, Jerry Springers just about to start . . .
Oh the excitement. I might just have to stay up all night more often.
Which is more then my tits would be doing in an ahh bra. I think I'll stick with LaSenza.

And no, none of those pictures are me.


  1. However good the brassiere is, it has to come off before a man can put his face between them.

  2. it entirely depends on the tits. some require support while others just demand attention/service. You should provide an example so i can categorize your tits and treat them with the proper respect or lack thereof.

  3. That much is obvious as they all look under 40 !

  4. None of them are of you? I'm almost disappointed. Not being a woman I can't really comment on bras, but I will agree that you want to feel you look good, it just makes a person happier. What women (and even men I guess) have worn and done to their bodies in the interests of "looking good" shows that really most people would rather bear the slight discomfort than wear...well whatever this is supposed to be.

  5. I hate these kind of late night shops. Bras are bras to me as long as they're not too disgusting looking, comfort's most important I suppose.

  6. LOL! 'Top bollocks' is now my new favourite boob description.

    My mother wears sexier bras than that and she's 62. I think I'll stick to pain and discomfort. I need all the scaffolding that I can get, to keep my puppies from hitting the floor.

  7. Ahh... In the US, this and the Wonder Bra are the only two kinds sold. Women's jeans all have elastic waste bands too.

  8. @GB, Agreed, but there's more chance of a man wanting to take it off if it makes what's underneath look huge.
    @IWF, Welcome :) And thanks.
    @Mack, That is a very good point. But a good bra can do wonders for anyone, I'm not sure I want mine categorised though.
    @Stu, LOL. Cunt.
    @Mark, a fella that has no opinion about bras? How about the content? Otheriwise you're definitely in the minority.
    @Yeamie, it's opinions like that - comforts most important - that the makers of the ahh bra are counting on.
    @Lily, that makes two of us. Do you want yours categorised too ? I will if you will...

  9. Well generally the only opinion a fella has on bras (other than the content) ranges from that they should be easier to come undone, or they shouldn't exist in the first place, their presence is merely a burden for men more than it is for women. So I think most guys would not like the Ahh Bra, as it looks tricky to get off. Though it does also just look like a tight fitting shirt, so it might actually be fairly easy to remove.

  10. Was that Jerry Springer show "Baggage?" That one's a hoot! And speaking of hooters, the Ah Bra doesn't do much for them, does it?

  11. People will always try to peddle things that make them look better than they really are. And honestly, if your boobs aren't perky enough to poke your eyes out when you walk, I don't care. They're boobs. Real ones slump a little. I am perfectly fine with that.

    Probably the worst informercial I've seen is the one that basically stuffs you into this huge fabric corset, transforming a really fat person into a slim, contoured looking person. Can you imagine that, going out to the bar, bringing home this slim person with a great physique, and they say, "Hold on, let me take off my corset first" and then this huge, bloated stomach falls out, effectively canceling out the ass they didn't have in the first place? Ugh.

  12. haha i saww thosee ugly bras on tv mee & my grandma said, ewww what is THAT!! haha i would neveer wear that

  13. I would rather have my tits itchy from lace, being poked by an underwire, and spend a small fortune, than to wear that ugly ass hideous thing.

  14. I bet the Ahhhhhhhhh Bra is itchy. Doesn't it look uncomfortable? I feel much better wearing Victoria's Secret.


  15. @Barfly, if that's true then if I ever get to the US I think there might be a marketing opportunity there.
    @Mark, that's true although one of my exes could undo one with one hand. And many a teenage boy has been confused by a front fastener.
    @Eva, I don't know, they are all the same after a while. Apart from the one about the horse.
    @ABFTS, I think I might have one of those lurking in the back of my wardrobe.
    @Sharon, you know it's bad when your Granny wouldn't wear one.
    @Choleesa, yeah me too. Every time.

  16. I've seen that infomercial. I have no idea what man or woman decided that whatever that contraption is, is the sexy thing to wear...

    I would chose the underwire one any day over that. I mean if you buy new bras on a somewhat regular basis, then the underwire shouldn't be a problem. right?

    Oh and DCG, how the hell do you get your comments within the comments to my post portion to show like that, with a border and all...????

  17. @Lola, I think it might be - and I bet it gets hot too.
    @Kim, no but I have ruined a washing machine with a wire out of one. I'll message you about the comments :)

  18. Women look better without them. (:

  19. OMG, the aah bra is hideous! I love pretty and lacy but I admit to removing the underwire because I also like comfort. Yet another hilarious post, dcg! I always know where to come when I need a good laugh. :D

  20. haha, my girlfriend is just a bit too... um... large... to use those fancy bras. so I have to agree with you, go for looks not comfort. haha

  21. I have a pretty healthy addiction to watching informercials late at night. I've never made a purchase, but I love watching them hawk their wares. You know the market for unattractive boob holders, at least here stateside, is apparently quite large, there is also a rival (and equally as ugly) offering called the Genie bra. (Both seem uniboobariffic) I'm always intirgued that they suggest wearing 2 at a time. ('Cause *that* sounds aweseome, doesn't it?)

    The robo-stirrer, the forever lazy pj's and tug toner (<-- helping guys everywhere keep guys fit for whackin' off) are some of my current faves. I say enjoy! What you do late at night is between you and your telly.

  22. hahaha...yeah i got stuck watching one of those infomercials on an ahhbraa or was it the genie bra? i dunno but an hour later i felt violated...yes those over the shoulder boulder holders kept me transfixed...i didnt know what happened to that hour...until the ad for the snuggies came on then i was lost is going on in my head????


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