social disasters

If I was a writer I think right about now I'd be worried that I was suffering from writers block.

When I get an idea for one of my 'opinion' posts . . . the ones where I force my opinions down your throats share my opinions with you, I usually start a draft about it, make a few notes, steal find some relevant pictures and then finish it once I've checked a few facts out on Wiki (I like to at least sound like I know what I'm talking about).

I currently have six of these posts sat in the folder, but I keep looking at them and my mind is just blank.
I hope I haven't lost my ranting mojo.

That's not really likely, I have been feeling rather aggressive the last few days for some bizarre reason. I seem to be in a permanent bad mood. Yesterday morning I swore at a group of students on the way to the train station, they were stood at a bus stop but taking up the whole pavement. . . "Get the fuck out of my way". . . as I barged through them with my elbows.
Perhaps I need to go out, get drunk and start a fight, then I can write blog posts about my life as a criminal.
Maybe not, I don't think you're allowed a laptop in prison and I would be lost without mine.
If you could have a PC in the nick then all those online meet-your-perfect-match places would be full of convicts, and people would be 'liking' HMP Wormwood Scrubs on facebook.
I think I need to find a boyfriend get laid.

It was with that thought in mind that last night I decided to visit a facebook app for 'meeting people'. You might be familiar with it - you 'tag' people according to what you think of their picture. Of course I don't really like to play fair, there was a time I used this app a lot, mostly to abuse people if I'm honest - in the days before I discovered blogging it amused me. But I did meet a few horny men interesting people on there, and I really can't be arsed to tart myself up and meet someone in the real world.
So I logged in . . .  and twenty minutes later I logged out.
Why ?
This is the pick of the bunch.

'David' can go bum himself. Seriously think he needs to review his chat-up lines.

And the blacked out face ? That's to spare you, not him. I suppose it's a point in his favour that were he to be 'bumming' anyone they wouldn't need to be looking at his face.

WHAT ??? Oh please. . . hold me back. Why would you ?  And on a facebook application for fuck sake, anyone can see this. And he wants me to add him on msn, not fucking likely. It'll start with pleasant chit chat and end up with me coming home from work to find you in my knickers. . . and not in the way I'd like.

And I've got bigger tits then him, bound to cause jealous rows.

There's a few things wrong with this. One - is he actually saying that he thinks I'm a male escort ? 'Cos that's how it reads to me. Two - his assumption that I am a 40plus lady (Way to win a girl over, fucking cheeky cunt). Three - his assumption that he's worth paying for (he's no stud muffin is he ?) Four - his assumption that I'm that desperate. I'm not. I'm just bored and exploring options.

He's not one of them.

It seems the app has gotten worse since I last used it, all the genuine people who weren't just looking for a shag - the ones that wanted friends, general chat and maybe the possibility of finding someone for a date - have left. As happens on so many 'dating' sites nowadays the serial shaggers have taken over. They were always there, but they were in the minority.

I've written before about my experiences on dating sites, I don't think I want to go there again.

Guess if I really want to meet someone I need to polish my high heels, shave my legs (anyone got a strimmer I can borrow ?) and get out in the real world.

I actually think that this may be the only really genuine response I got.

I've arranged a date for next Saturday. We're going to the park.

One thing I am quite sure of is that if you want to use the Internet to meet genuine people, just for the pleasure of making international friends with no hidden agenda, then blogging is definitely one of the better ways to go about it.

But if any of you are single, rich, hung walk on two legs I'm available.

Just in case, here's the picture I used on the facebook site. . . .

No wonder I got such a great response.