because you lot are special . . .

. . . tonight I have a bit of a treat for you.

And a favour to ask in return.

You remember I told you about my friends son who wanted to steal a dog and smuggle it in a suitcase a few posts ago ?
Just before he and his Mum left for their holiday they came here for dinner, and Son and him made a video. It's been uploaded to youtube, and Son keeps checking to see how many hits it's had. There's been a few, but I want your help it getting it out there to the masses.

I realise that I may be slightly biased, it's my Son and my friends six year old who I have known since he was a day old. But it is VERY cute.
So anyway here it is, but please go to youtube to view it so they get a hit, give them a like, maybe leave a comment, and if you think it's worth it then please share it on any other media platforms you use.
(To get it on youtube click on it again once it is playing here).

Link Removed - ask me if you want it.

Why does my kitchen look like it's bright yellow ? It's not.

And if I'd known this was going to happen I would've done the washing up.

They made another video too, but Son says he's not going to upload it unless this one gets popular. I think the other one is even funnier (it's "Sexy and I know it"), and when Stanley and his Mum come home they are coming to stay with us for a while as she has rented her house out, so they will make some more.
My boy might be going viral.
In a way that doesn't involve a visit to any clinic.

Considering some of the things that get a following on the internet I think they both should be stars, but as I said, I'm biased.
It does make me wonder though, it's like the 'blog of note' thing we have on here, most of the time there is nothing special about them that I can see.
Well apart from A Beer For The Shower, and my blogger mate Gweenbrick who guest posted for me in December, he was made BON while I was away. Both of them deserved it, but I was already following them before they got the accolade.

When you consider how many blogs there must be I do find it strange that it's so rare to find one that has followers in the thousands, or even more then a few hundred, the problem it seems is getting your blog noticed because there are some amazing writers among us who certainly should have way more then they do.
And I know there is a 300 limit on the amount you can follow, but there are other ways. Not all of my regular readers appear on the gadget, I have weirdo stalkers and perverts more in reader and email subs, so it's not that limiting the numbers.

I think that most of us find others by checking out the followers, comments and blog rolls of those we read, but that is quite limiting, and I guess is why you seem to find groups of people around the more popular blogs.
And who really has time to check out everyone who also appears on the ones you follow.

The only reason I ever comply with conditions for awards is if I have a few blogs I think are going to send me money or written by fit single men worth sharing, but even then I don't think they drive much traffic over.
(Speaking of which I just got two more...yay me ! And no, not going to share. But thanks Violet, Shea and Lily. Love you girls.)

I have been giving some thought to this. I don't want to add a blog roll, I like my template how it is - and as they work by showing the most recently updated first you may never see the ones that are fucking lazy posters don't post too often on it, and some of them are amongst the ones I like the best.
But there are some I follow that deserve more readers, so I'm taking inspiration from something I've seen other bloggers do and I'm going to make my own 'blog of the month' page. That way I can tell you a bit about it and link direct to a couple of posts.
Actually I might put two or three on it at a time.

The other reason I don't want a blog roll is because every time I see it I think of bog roll.
(For non UK readers, bog = slang for toilet)

I know whose going to be first on the page, first person to deposit £500 in my paypal can be up next.
Any takers ?


Because that video is the actual wombfruit I am going to remove this post after a week, I don't want the pervs who come here looking for "autocunnilingus" "chode penis" and "male milking" (yup, actual keywords from the last week) stalking Sons youtube.


PS Why are none of you voting in my poll ? Englands future depends on it !!

PPS For some of the best/funniest responses to a post I have ever read take a look at this.
http://transformednonconformist.blogspot.com/2012/02/evidence-that-i-am-harmless.html

I'll expect a cheque in the mail Brett.

find a friend

One of things I like about the Internet is the way that what might be barriers in the real world when it comes to making friends are no longer there.

I'm not just talking about distance here, more about the limits of our social groups and surroundings and the places we go to actually be able to interact with different people. On the web there are no barriers, and the friends that I have made don't just come from all corners of the planet, but all walks of life and all ages.
And I do consider some of them to be real friends, even though we have never met. After all if someone asked you to describe what makes a good friend many of the attributes you would give them do not require them to be sat in the same room.

Sometimes it's actually easier to talk about the really important difficult stuff with a stranger, people who aren't directly involved in your life can sometimes be more objective about things.
The vast numbers of anonymous blogs about very personal subjects is testament to that.
But if someone knows the intimate details of your life, has discussed them with you and perhaps offered words of wisdom, or maybe shares similar experiences to the point where you feel some degree of empathy with each other are they really a stranger ?

If the dialogue, in whatever medium you are using, occurs over any length of time then surely there comes a point where that person is regarded as a friend.

There's a point to this, I want to tell you all a story.

Amongst the people that I have met online is a young (well a lot younger then me) woman, I'll call her Ria. We got chatting in a forum for a while before I read Ria's blog, but when I did there was something there about a personal tragedy that I related to.
Then life dealt her another really awful shitty blow. WAY below the belt.
And it was that, and the fact that it made me want to share some private stuff about me which I thought might be of some value in a difficult decision she needed to make, that prompted us to begin conversing privately away from the forum.

During this time we had the pleasure of Ria's ex boyfriends company in the forum for a while, since he came there and abused her for a bit when he found out about the latest piece of news.
A right cunt charmer if ever there was one.
Trust me when I say this - if she was my daughter I would've called the police because what he was saying was harassment. Actually scrap that, if Ria was my daughter I would've found the cunt and kicked his fucking head in. What I did do was contact the forum moderator and get him removed.

So a little time goes on and I get a comment on my blog FROM THE EX. Saying some very personal things about Ria, absolutely not his business to divulge. Fucker tried to make it sound as if he was doing this out of some misplaced concern, that he was worried about her, and as he 'knew' she and I were talking he was hoping I would help her.
WHAT THE FUCK ?
He even gave me her phone number.
I already had it - but he didn't know that. To him I was a stranger on the Internet, for all he knew I could've been a 60 year old pervert.
Around the same time Ria's best friend sent me an email, she wanted to let me know that Ria was ill, saying she had her phone as an explanation of how she got my address. I did find this a bit intrusive, but I figured she's young, worried about her best mate, and genuinely thought I would want to know - which of course I did, so I just thanked her.

I tell Ria about this. The issue for her then was how did her ex know all the stuff he was 'telling' me, and how did he know that we were friends. In the times that he had been in the forum there were lots of other people, nothing was exchanged there between Ria and I to suggest we chatted elsewhere.
Well guess what. He knew all this because her so called best friend was fucking him.
Nice.
Apparently they are 'in love'. . . like either of these two low lifes even know the meaning of the word. And she got my email by snooping on Ria's phone.

Even without all the crap Ria has had to deal with - and believe me at her age most people would just crumble under the weight - fucking your friends ex is still a betrayal of the worst kind. And it turned out that they were actually fucking each other when Ria and him were still together.
Why would you even want to ?
Especially when you, more then anyone else, know what a total cunt he was to her and what an utter loser he really is.

These two have continued to leave messages in my comment box here, and the slut of an ex friend has emailed me several times trying to convince me that Ria is messed up (I'd be surprised if she wasn't), and trying to turn me against her with yet more personal stuff.
Which I already know as like I say, she and I are friends.
I ignore it. I've no desire to enter into any dialogue with a fucked up slapper who clearly has no morals and no fucking idea of what constitutes a true friend.
It's really none of my business, but she made it so by mailing me.
And she really is the one who's fucked up.
In every sense of that expression.

What I've written here is a tiny bit of what has happened, but the worst is that this bitch altered the one long email conversation we had (after her pestering my inbox all night, I told her what I thought of her and her actions) so it reads as if I'm telling her that I don't want anything to do with her or Ria, then forwarded it to Ria.
I've seen it, Ria sent it on to me.
Actually I've kept all the various comments and emails both of them have left me, as it's getting annoying and another mate who's a legal advisor has suggested I could take action against them for harassment.

But just how sick do you have to be to not only do the dirty on your best friend in the worst way - the main result of which is that right when she needs you the most you're gone from her life - but to also try and ruin any other friendship she might have.

Even if it is just an online one.
As far as those two (the ex and the ex friend) go, I'd say good riddance to bad rubbish whatever their motivations are. Not that that's much comfort to Ria.

But when a real life friend whose known you all you life can sink to actions so low and disgusting perhaps online friendships are in fact a better kind.
Even those of us who 'hide' behind user names are probably being far more honest about who we really are underneath our online facades. There are lot of people out there who discuss things with strangers on the net that even their nearest and dearest have no clue about.

Strange to think that someone on the other side of the world might just know you better then the friends you see every day ?

It happens.

Part of my lottery winning fantasy involves hiring an entire resort somewhere hot and sunny and paying for all the various people I've met via the Internet to fly in and join me.

Whose coming ???

rearranging the furniture

Hey guys, I’ve made a few tweaks to my blog.

My recommended reading page never got a lot of views so I’ve taken it off and added it as a blog roll instead. (That expression always makes me LOL, sounds like bog roll - UK slang for toilet paper).
My intention is to set it to feature five blogs at a time but rotate which ones, you should definitely all take a look at the fabulous folk on there at the moment.

I’d like to ask a favour of you, I have a few friends who have said they are going to start a blog and asked me for advice - hence I’ve added a page of what I think are helpful hints.

I wondered if you would take a look at it and if you can think of anything else that would be useful add it to the comments.

Thanks, DCG J

I spent the weekend before last rearranging the furniture in the lounge as I bought a wall mounting kit for my television. Yup, I have power tools and I'm gonna use them.

However the walls in this house are old, and the drill bit kind of slips - but I got twelve large holes successfully bored and twelve raw plugs and bolts then attached to the bracket and mounted the TV. Once it was up I cleared up the mess then went to sit down and enjoy my handiwork.

Then I spotted my mistake.
The (now bolted to the bracket) TV is not quite straight. I have measured it - it's out by 6mm, three friends have been round and said they can't notice it at all.

But me ? I keep finding myself doing this. . . . .

My neck is starting to ache.

And yeah, before all the men chip in with the sarky comments I did use a spirit level. But the walls aren't straight.