If you read yesterdays post then you will be aware of my amazing new-found plumbing skills.
It seems I'm
All I wanted was to able to use my new dishwasher but when I got up today (late - and with the mother of all headaches) I discovered that I had also managed to create an indoor paddling pool in my kitchen.
Yup ! Fucker leaked.
Now this I like - turn your sink into a water feature resembling Niagra.
Wish I'd thought of that.
I'll remember this for next time, because there's bound to be a next time.
Well to be precise it wasn't the dishwasher itself that leaked, it was the tap doubler for the water pipe, as I was trying to save time by using the existing water feed for the washing machine. I blame the DIY shop for selling me faulty leaky parts.
Goddamn B&Q and their unreliable incontinent pipes.
They should come with a warning that using them may result in needing a boat to get to your kettle in the morning, or at the very least a free pair of Wellies.
I could copy this fella's idea and get some ducks.
See what I mean about Calamity.
Fuck my life indeed.
Anyway tomorrow I intend to do it properly and solder on a new tap.
Unless my friendly Hasidic Plumber wants to jump in his G5 and come and do it for me ?
Please note not an actual depiction, but an artists impression.
There are no Racoons here, although I do have a Maincoon cat.
I think I might need a plumbing Superhero.
When I was kid if anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up the answer was "a gelignite man".
I had no desire to change sex, I just wanted to blow things up.
I have no idea where I got this ambition from, my Mum said I started saying it when I was about four, but I do remember really wanting to do it and being totally mesmerised whenever there was anything on the TV about demolition.
I'm starting to think that maybe my talent for calamity and destruction is me acting out those fantasies on a subconscious level.
If I can't explode things them I'm gonna wreck my house instead.
Although I also think it's probably for the best that I didn't fulfil that particular childhood dream because I'm pretty sure I'd be the one blowing up the wrong building.
NO !! Not that one. . . the one behind it.
If you don't hear from me for a few days send a lifeboat to my house.