Saturday, 30 April 2011

empty nest

Yesterday was a tough emotional day.

Son has officially moved out and is now living in a different country to me. Lucky bastard texted me last night to say he loves his room and was having a cigarette and enjoying the view on his balcony.
I’m waiting to see pictures.

I'm imagining this . . . .and me sat on it.
Meanwhile I was very upset.
On a positive note I clean when upset so at least I’ve been crying in a shiny tidy house. I haven’t spoke to anyone, other then by text, for fear of sobbing down the phone which will no doubt bring people round and that is the last thing I want at the moment.

When I’m sad I like to be left alone.
Much as I like to wallow in self pity, and I'm fucking good at it - it’s not a spectator sport.

Also it occurs to me that if any old friends were to come here now they’d look at the lack of clutter and dust in my house and probably think I’ve regressed to my youth and am back on speed.

Still not feeling great today, made shepherds pie earlier then realised I’d made enough for him as well and promptly started crying. From this day forwards it will be called emotional pie in my house.
I suppose it’s to be expected really, I miss him already and most kids that leave home stay close enough to come for food five times a week.

Is anyone hungry ?

Ah well - that’s dinner sorted for the next three days, and I’m a bit annoyed because if I’d thought about it before I cooked I could’ve put more chilli in it too.
At least he won’t be round borrowing a tenner every other day.
Every cloud and all that . . . .

Anyway I am very proud of him, it’s a brave thing to do for anyone and despite the fact that I will worry I know that he will be ok.

It’s all about perspective too.

As a parent you want the best for your children, and of course one day they're going to leave.

It's boys who are still living with mummy when they're forty that are worrying.

He’s gone away to do a safe job (he works in marketing for a Hotel company), in a beautiful city where he already has a few friends. I can call, text or talk online to him anytime, in fact he’s probably texted me more in the last 24 hours then he normally does in a week.
He’s only a two hour plane ride away - I’ve already looked at prices to go and see him on his birthday next month and it will only cost me £100.

And if for some reason things didn’t work out he can come home anytime.

Some people have to say goodbye to their children as they are going away to fight in war zones, where they have limited opportunities for contact, and where they cannot leave until their tour of duty ends.

How any parent copes with that I really don’t know.
My heart goes out to them.


  1. It sounds like you're his best friend as well as his mum. I'm sure he'll miss your home cooking.

  2. I know it's sad for a 40 year old to still live at home with his mum but I've told the lil man that I'm going to lock him in the attic til he's 45 and keep him sustained with fish heads.
    I call it love, he calls it psychotic & keeps asking for the number to child-line.
    Your son will be back in no time, there's nothing like the bond between a mother and son...

  3. I went through this in January, it was horrible and an adjustment I wasn't ready for. Now he's back home, another horrible adjustment for entirely different reasons.

    I feel for you, it's no fun. xox

  4. I know, it feels like a plug being disconnected from its source energy, useless and without life. Once there is another source to plug into like skydiving, you'll soon feel like flying to the moon again. :-j

  5. @GB - if only you knew....

    @Lily - try getting a cage, you can put in the garden, save keep going up all them stairs.

    @Tats - yeh, tougher then I thought it would be, cos of the distance but are we ever really prepared. Hope things are getting sorted for you now.

    @cp - it is a strange feeling, but I'm getting there, and that is a very good idea.

  6. He is incredibly lucky to have a mother like you :)


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