Tuesday, 19 April 2011

it's all lies

Who the fuck thought up the term Global Warming ?

As a teenager I went through a punk militant phase.

I belonged to the Anti-Nazi League, went on marches against Apartheid, bought Living Marxism magazine, wore a ‘Troops Out’ T-shirt, took food parcels to the women protesting the US Missiles at Greenham Common and joined CND and Greenpeace.

And all whilst wearing Dr Marten boots and dirty hair.

I went to rallys and talks that were relevant to my new found sense of injustice and amongst these were many speakers on the subject of global warming and the state of the planet.
The people giving these talks and TV programmes I watched about it made it sound as if these were issues that were going to affect the planet in many years time.

Not likely to affect me but maybe my grandchildren or great grandchildren.
What grandchildren ? Yeah, I think Son needs to pull the proverbial finger out on that one.

Doesn't England look fab ?
It always sounded far in the future, I suppose they thought it would be.

But as is evident from the sometimes freakish and out of place weather conditions that are becoming all the more prevalent it seems that in fact these changes are occurring now.

There’s a part of me that finds this kind of exciting.
That things I thought would happen after I was long gone are occurring now.

My case is packed...beam me up !
Maybe I shouldn’t give up entirely on my plans for space travel and a transporter room in the spare bedroom just yet.

I wanted this....

However I am also a bit disappointed. Global WARMING ?…..my fucking arse.

I thought the implication of that meant I would get to see out my days living in a tropical country without the hassle of emigrating or having to put the cats through quarantine. And that rising sea levels meant I’d end up in a seaside apartment.

If it meant England was gonna get Caribbean temperatures then chop down all the trees I say.

I got this.....

But no, Global fucking freezing more like.

Whoever thought that name up is a fucking lying bastard.


  1. Life lesson #1078: There is never an upside.

  2. Global warming could actually mean freezing winters for you because the fresh water will cock up the Gulf Stream. Still, the summers might be hotter.

  3. Fact is, as the rest of the world heats up, Britain will get colder. And by the time we get our fair share of heat, we'll probably be underwater anyway... Rule Britannia and all that.

  4. False advertising at it's worth. It SNOWED here yeasterday. IN APRIL! Bastard climatologists.

  5. Hear, hear!
    They all lie.
    Even the aliens.

  6. i have dirty hair!!!!!!

    am i a punk?

  7. Totally. I was sorta looking forward to global warming as well.

  8. Hey, if that means I can actually get some sun in Seattle... sign me up!

  9. @Drone...I know !

    @GB...in the jungle maybe - not here thats for sure.

    @Biz...crap init ?

    @jamie...it's actually been very hot here last few days, which is also our of season - chances are this is are summer.

    @PB...yup !

    @andrea...it's a state of mind lol.

    @cait...at least I'm not the only one disappointed

    @Dr...No-ones getting what they want. Just rain and snow !


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