Thursday, 21 April 2011

cheeky bitch

Maybe I am....?

I love smoking weed.
I’ve done to excess dabbled in other drugs but I’d happily smoke weed every day.

My three favourite things are eating, fucking and sleeping and since weed makes me hungry, horny and tired it suits me very well.

However it also makes me VERY lethargic and I have enough trouble getting up in the morning so as I am still getting used to being up on time for work I haven’t had any for about a month.
This doesn’t bother me - I’ve had longer periods of not smoking it before now, and during my previous 15 months of self imposed sabbatical I’ve smoked enough weed to knock out half of Jamaica.

I took this picture myself in Jamaica - good innit ??
 But I know myself well enough to know that if I had one joint now I’d be wanting more tomorrow and back in the land of foggy brain before I knew it.
If I'm doing anything then I do it to excess so I'm better just avoiding it for now.

Last night I had a friend pop round - she’s a weed smoker too.
She arrived and I went to put the kettle on, by the time I brought the coffee in she had a joint on the go and went to pass it to me.

I said thanks but no thanks I’m not smoking at the moment and explained why, but she kept trying to insist I should have some, that just a few puffs wouldn’t hurt.

Go on go on go on go on....
That started to piss me off - I’m not 14 - I’ve been a stoner for 30 years for fuck sake I think I know myself.

And if I say I don’t want something then I don’t fucking want it.

I don’t need the Mrs Doyle of dope trying to convince me that I do.

Then she called me hypocrite !

Fuck. Right. Off.

She was sat in my house smoking it.
I wasn’t telling her she shouldn’t.
I wasn’t saying there was anything wrong with it.
I was actually saying that I didn’t want it because I can’t just take it and leave it.
And it meant she didn’t have to share.

How the fuck does that make me a hypocrite ?
She couldn’t answer that.


  1. You can be horny AND tired at the same time? You must have some good dreams.

  2. Haha...some things are worth staying awake for. But yeah I do - now there's a post I ought to write.

  3. Cheeky bitch is right. Maybe it bothered her that you can say no. I'm not a smoker, but I have no issues with those who do. But I have gotten shit over not taking part when others are.

  4. Give me a break. I fail to see how making a personal decision makes you a hypocrite. That is a beautiful photo of greenery.

  5. I have had almost the same experience. A former friend of mine lived out of town, so she would come stay with me for a few days every now and then. Well, she would get up start smoking and smoke the entire day. Now, that's totally cool with me, but I'm usually an afternoon smoker. I like to come home, relax, smoke a little and then watch the telly (bahah, I've always wanted to say that!). Well, she'd get all offended because I didn't want to smoke all day with her. She'd tell me I wasn't a stoner and all I was was a goody goody, etc. Seriously!? It took all I could not to light a joint and stab it in her eyeball, lol. The worst part about the whole thing was, she was was smoking MY weed. I bought it, I went and picked it up and here she is wanting to smoke every 10 fucking minutes (literally), bitching at me because I'm not and it's not even her weed! Okay, enough bitching. I have a bong hit and strawberry cupcakes to attend to :)

  6. @jamie - you might have a point there.

    @tats - its actually a cropped version of my fave pic of jamaica because the whole thing is a pic of my son stood in the field.

    @tesla - I think your 'friend' is actually cheekier then mine. LOL at the eyeball comment too.

  7. Do you have many teenage friends? *retracts claws*
    I can't smoke weed anymore it just gives me the munchies and makes me laugh like a loon until my face hurts !

  8. wow. if i was her, and still smoking the stuff, i WOULD be grateful that i didn't have to share.


    weirdo ... maybe she was on crack?

  9. WTF?
    Can people not understand the word NO?
    Yeah, cheeky bitch alright.
    You should have "bonged" her head to knock some sense into her.

  10. Hahahaaa

    You lot do make me laugh :)

  11. She probably felt weird being high around someone who isn't. I know I do. Even if they're my friends, for some reason. Calling you a hypocrite makes no sense though. Maybe she should lay off for a while too. :)

  12. I wish i had a mom as cool as you. Except for the fucking part, she DOESN'T FUCK. Ok, she probably does because she is always happy, but in my mind she doesn't. Anyway, i wish i could smoke with my mom, but i have to settle with eating and getting drunk with her hahahaha

  13. @HP. So how do you explain you being here then ?
    Were you an immaculate conception.

    Son won't be around me when I'm drunk, apparently I am embarrassing.


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