Wednesday, 23 March 2011

furry things that live in my house

I truly believe that the cat lost nothing from domestication
Your friendly, affectionate, attention loving lap-cat can go out at night and revert back to the primordial hunter. The only problem is it may well decide to bring some of the proceeds home in the morning as a token of its appreciation of you.
Well that's what they want us to think, in truth I suspect they want to scare us.
Feed me tuna or this can happen to you.
The Boss.

One of the places I’ve lived had a long back garden that backed onto what I can best describe as a wooded area, at the time my son was probably about 6 or 7, and most mornings when we’d step outside for the walk to school our cat had left a selection of the proceeds from the nights hunting on the doormat. This would include mice, voles, slow-worms, birds, frogs, grasshoppers, even a couple of grass snakes - all laid out fully intact but very dead.

I am currently owned by three.
I have a maincoon who is the ripe old age of 18, and very much the boss.

However despite his age he still has not worked out that if it’s raining outside the front door it will also be raining at the back. Every time it rains he miows at the front door - I open it - he looks out then goes to the back door - I open it - he looks out then goes to the kitchen window, then looks at me like it’s MY fault it’s fucking raining.
And if I try ignoring him after the front door he just howls at me until I go through the routine.

Feed me now or I'm leaving.
He prefers to go out the front of the house - he likes the attention from passers by, all the kids on our street know his name. Sometimes I’ve sat in the front room and listened to them talking to him. When he wants to come in he’ll scratch at the front door, the old lady who lives over the road asked me if she was seeing things or does my cat actually knock the door, he kinda jumps up and does it.
This cat has come home wearing a new collar that I never bought him more then once.

At one time I had students living next door to me and I’d often see him sat in their window - he even had his own chair in their house. It’s nothing unusual in the summer to not see him for a few days, however if I put a chicken in the oven all of a sudden there he is.
Me and son say he has a built in chicken detector.

In the summer if I smell a barbeque being cooked and look out the back window I’ll more then likely see him sat on the wall of whichever garden it’s being cooked in.
He loves ham, if there’s ham in the fridge every time one of us goes into the kitchen he follows and sits by the fridge.
But he only does this when there’s ham in it.

If he’s in and hungry and there is no food he knows when I go out I’m going to the shop and will leave with me, walk to the top of the road and be there waiting when I come back. If he’s been out and he comes in and the food bowl is full he won't let me so much as touch him, but if he comes in and it’s empty he’s the most friendly affectionate cat ever.
He won’t take food off my plate but will sit and watch me when I’m eating and he knows if I put a bit of meat to one side on the plate I’m saving that for him, so if any of the other cats come near they get batted away.

Once upon a time he had a habit of coming in the bathroom and sitting on the shelf at the end of the bath while I was in it. At first he would drink the bath water but I kept a plastic jug in there and would fill that with water for him. If I forgot he’d knock the jug in the bath to remind me. Until the day he came in and I wasn’t alone in the bath.
That was about 10 years ago and he hasn’t done it since.
Nowadays he likes to wait until I’m totally relaxed in the bath then come in and use the litter tray. Although any other time he prefers to go and do his business in the garden.

I don’t think I’m forgiven.

We also have a pure black cat, he is part Siamese and has the lean body type of one and the voice, although he is the most placid cat I’ve ever owned. This cat doesn’t even cry for food, he will just sit by the food bowl and wait.
He is totally devoted to son, I’m allowed to pet him but he does not like me picking him up and never sits on my lap - son can carry him round all day and just has to pat his leg once and the cat is there. He follows him around the house and will just sit and watch him whatever he is doing. He’ll come to the window to be let in but if I open it he will just sit there - I have to get son to call him.
I love only him

Son moved out for a while and lived with his girlfriend and he would occasionally take his cat with him for a night or two, but it was during this time that he finally started to come to me for affection, although once son moved back that stopped.

I’ll sometimes find him sleeping in my room but as soon as I walk in he either goes under my bed or leaves.
The only time he actually comes to me for affection now is if son is drawing or playing xbox - and all the time I’m fussing him he’s looking at son.

I’m convinced he’s just trying to make him jealous.

And finally I have the spoilt brat mummys boy.
Crashed cat
This one was hand reared from two weeks, so he is socialised to the extreme. Loves a cuddle, and I mean a proper squeeze-me, and all the time I’m doing so will ‘talk’, and try to touch my face. So cute.
I know he lays all over me when I’m asleep too as there have been times when I’ve woken to find white fur all over whatever top I’ve slept in.
My friends have said that I think he’s my baby, I don’t, but he does.
I’m quite convinced he’d let me breast feed him if I wanted to, which I don’t.

Having a wash in the sink
He has some odd habits though, for instance he loves washing up sponges, and he’s not bothered if they’re wet, he’s tried to take one of my hand before now as I’m using it. His new ‘thing’ is my pastry brush. It’s kept in a pot on a shelf above my cooker with the wooden spoons and about a week ago he was in my bedroom playing with something and at first I thought it was probably a sponge. When I realised it was the brush I took it off him, washed it and put it back thinking maybe I’d left it on the side as I’d been sorting out the kitchen earlier that day.

Get off the laptop and look at me.
Two days later son was sat at the kitchen table and watch him jump on the worktop and remove it from the pot.
I really don’t know what the attraction is, but I think I need to buy a new one now. 
He has learnt that when I’m on the laptop I don’t want him on my lap so he will lay up my arm with his head on my shoulder, then gradually work his way down.

We also watch videos on you tube together, so much that I have a list of his favourites on my account.
But he loves ‘the two talking cats’ the most - he talks back to them

Makes me wonder what they’re really saying…..

I'm convinced they're plotting the enslavement of the human race.

And finally a rare picure of the furball three sharing the sofa.

Yup, I know what they're thinking.

Cat Quotes

Cats cooperate, dogs perform.
Brad Thompson

The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights. His intelligence keeps him from doing many of the fool things that complicate life.
Carl Van Vechten

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
Dereke Bruce

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
Doug Larson

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
Ellen Perry Berkeley

Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience.
Pam Brown

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days.
Bill Dana

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
Mary Bly

The cat is the only animal which accepts the comforts but rejects the bondage of domesticity.
Georges Louis Leclerc de Buffon

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
Terry Pratchett

Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner.
Gary Smith

It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert, gentle, and discriminating little friends, who give us just enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for more.
Agnes Repplier

A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it.
Joseph Epstein

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
Hippolyte Taine

Although all cat games have their rules and rituals, these vary with the individual player. The cat, of course, never breaks a rule. If it does not follow precedent, that simply means it has created a new rule and it is up to you to learn it quickly if you want the game to continue.
Sidney Denham

You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
George Mikes

Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll on a dead fish.
James Gorman

Of all the toys available, none is better designed than the owner himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to move in almost any direction. It comes completely assembled, and it makes a sound when you jump on it.
Stephen Baker

Who among us hasn't envied a cat's ability to ignore the cares of daily life and to relax completely?
Karen Brademeyer

If I called her she would pretend not to hear, but would come a few moments later when it could appear that she had thought of doing so first.
Arthur Weigall

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Jeff Valdez

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
Mark Twain Notebook, 1895

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.
Will Cuppy

The mathematical probability of a common cat doing exactly as it pleases is the one scientific absolute in the world.
Lynn M. Osband


  1. Here's a great You Tube video you could show them:

  2. hahahaha, I know what you mean about being owned. Mine has me catering to her medical needs. I will tell you one day, and you will see how sad it is. xxx Beautiful photos by the way

  3. Okay I can speak freely now, Catty is in deep REM. I told you (hushed whispers), cats are aliens and they really have a wicked plan of world domination. Their intelligence really gives me the creeps. My Dad used to own 11 cats. He was THE only master. 3 of them were Siamese and we grow up spooked of them cats. My Catty was with me since 2 weeks old. Now she's 4.5 months and I am afraid she will grow up to be a monster cat. She plots and schemes. I guess if she continues to see me as her Mom, I may just ask her to go rob a bank. I bet she can swing it. :)

  4. They are all awesome :)

  5. My old cat used to bring mouse butts home. He loved eating mice but he hated the tails. when my parents decided to sell the house an inspector went under the deck and said we had a vermin infestation. it turns out that it was just littered with mouse body parts from all the long nights hunting. pretty gross.

  6. @gorilla, they weren't impressed - the dog wasn't wounded.
    @B, more like already enslaved, and in my case by three. Cheers.
    @pb, at one time I had 4 adults and 7 kittens, and yeah she might but would spend the proceeds on tuna.
    @jez, thanks - yours are too.
    @drone, I have no trouble believing that. Evil but particular, typical cat behaviour.

  7. they are soooo purrrrrty :) lovely how they get their way, eh? they are masters of passive aggressiveness.

  8. (thinking happy non-cat thoughts better individual)

    please dirty cow girl don't become one of those crazy cat woman.

  9. @Bio, I had to do a cat post after I saw yours
    @Andrea, totally - worse then babies for it
    @Better, I already am - but in a good way and I promise unless there's a funny story to tell this will be my only cat post.

  10. ok i won't worry then.
    have a cracker day, i'm off to work.

  11. Those cats are hilarious! This would've blown my pet post out of the water.

  12. Nawww they're adorable :) I've only been able to get a picture of one of my cats up on my blog, I have one of the other I've just not got round to posting it. The girl one is way more vicious, she's captured a fair few mouse in her time, she may have gotten some birds but she's not brought any home, and if you stroke her you can feel all the cuts on her. It's kind of sad that she's cut up, but she's still in one piece, and it's good she's willing to kick some ass.

  13. Wonderful blog! Do you have any suggestions for aspiring writers?
    I'm hoping to start my own website soon but I'm a little lost on everything. Would you recommend starting with a free platform like Wordpress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I'm totally confused .. Any recommendations? Thank you!
    Here is my blog post ;


Tell me something I don't know.
Comments are moderated so spam me and you're going in the bin.