Saturday, 21 May 2011
who do you love
Yesterday I finally got round to watching a TV documentary I had recorded about a couple in America and their family. They have two adopted sons (from a previous relationship of one of them) and a baby that is their own. The programme was about their struggles having moved from a small close community to a new city, their wider families, children, and the fact that they had decided to have another baby.
What was unusual about them was that although they considered themselves to be a gay male couple both had begun life as females. One had undergone full gender reassignment surgery but the other had not and so was able to have their child naturally.
They were able to marry because only one of them had full surgery so legally they were a man and a woman.
It got me wondering what if the other person decided to have genital surgery ?
Would they then be forced to divorce or their marriage be annulled ?
That doesn’t seem right to me.
These people clearly loved each other, they were raising three children and planning another. The adopted sons would’ve been taken into care if they hadn’t stepped up for them as their mother was unable to look after them properly. One of the boys was autistic and anyone who knows anything about that will realise that these two took on more then a lot of people would voluntarily cope with.
So why should it matter what gender they are.
Surely the important thing is being a good parent.
And clearly they were.
In the UK same sex couples can have a Civil Ceremony.
Why the fuck can’t they call it a marriage ?
Probably because it offends the fucking church.
At least they are allowed to have their partnership recognised and I suppose that’s progress, but I guess if you’re in the USA the laws must be different depending upon which state you live in.
I once watched a programme about a part of America where you can legally marry your horse. And no, not Jerry Springer - this was a serious documentary.
Although I recently saw an episode of that about a brother and sister who were openly living as a couple and planning to marry and have kids.
Now that IS wrong - and surely must be against the law. It is here.
Unless you want kids with three eyes and twelve fingers.
I realise that my knowledge here is rather limited.
I should probably go and Google all this before spouting off, but from the little I do know it does seem to me that the law is rather vague, and acceptance is often a matter of geography whatever your preference for a partner or yourself. If not everywhere will allow you to be legally recognised as your chosen gender if that happens to be different to the way you were born, if you’re born male but change to female are you still unable to marry a man or vice versa ?
Or do you have to have a civil ceremony - even though you and your partner are different sexes.
It must be confusing enough having to live life different to how you feel you are inside, but it would seem that correcting a mistake of nature sometimes then creates a whole new set of problems aside from any prejudice.
Personally I disagree with labelling people - whatever that’s for. Be it gender, sexuality, nationality, disability, whatever - the problem with giving someone a label is that people then think of them in terms of the stereotype associated with it.
I have a friend who although openly gay is not at all camp. There is absolutely nothing about him that gives it away, if you have a gaydar he‘ll break it, he has been accused of not being ‘a proper gay’. Wtf ? Just because he just doesn’t fit the stereotype for a gay man. What clever cunt decided what that should be anyway.
Seriously, in a world that is finally recognising that the complexities of human sexuality go way beyond gay and straight, and that there is more to gender then male and female, surely those labels are becoming less relevant then ever.
I think it’s about time that we were all just thought of as people.
And allowed to marry whoever we choose to love.
As long as we don’t share parents and have less then four legs.