I really can’t believe the stupid bury-my-head-in-the-sand attitude of this.
Was chatting to a male friend last night, the guys a bit of a tart but he’s quite upfront about it (well to me anyway), but we’ve often had these story swapping conversations. We make each other laugh and I can talk about anything with him. He’s a good looking fella, I’d be lying if I said the thought never crossed my mind - but I like having him as a mate so anything else was never really on the agenda.
Just as well.
So I’m telling him about this funny conversation I’d had wherein I was saying I was a cunt and he says I may well be, but he thinks he’s risen in the arsehole stakes because he has arranged FOUR dates (and in his world that means coming round his house for sex) for this week.
He also said that they all thought they were the ’only’ one.
This is a 39 year old father of two by the way, not an 18 year old boy.
Ever the joker I replied that I was a bit skint so did he want to buy a box of condoms off me.
He said “ I never use them, I get checked regularly, I’ve had the snip and I’m fussy who I sleep with”.
Four women you met on a facebook app in a week ?….yeah you’re really fussy.
What the fuck ???
What’s up with these people ???
The reply I gave was more of a lecture.
Was he was going to get checked after each one ?
Did he not realise that most STI’s take a while to show on tests, in the case of HIV at least three months ?
Did he not know that some people, especially women, will often show no symptoms of some STI’s ?
Was he aware that the herpes virus can lie dormant for years, that people can be carriers who have the virus without knowing, and pass it on without ever developing the infection themselves ?
Was he aware that HIV infection is still on the increase, especially amongst heterosexual people ?
Because of the work I’ve done with teenagers I’ve undergone training to deliver safe sex workshops - so I was quoting facts and figures at him.
I finished the lecture by pointing out to him that if these women are prepared to fuck him without a condom then it’s very likely that they let other men do so too, or did he think that he was the ‘only’ one.
“Are you that stupid that you don’t think women lie too ?”
Apart from this confirming to me (what I already knew) that the current trend for ‘no strings’ sex is not for me, it’s such a fine example of stupidity and naivety that I’m still pretty fucking dumbstruck.
Especially from someone who has been ’playing the field’ for a good few years since his marriage ended. There have been a few times that I’ve been with men who have tried to tell me that we don’t need to use a condom because they “don’t have anything”.
Personally I value my life and health too much to take a chance and I’m not stupid enough to fall for ridiculous lines. Yeah I get that it might lessen sensitivity - but that’s just gonna make it last a bit longer.
Not a problem for me.
But in this day and age, when we’re all supposed to be a bit more educated and enlightened why would you NOT want to protect yourself ?
Given the number of websites dedicated to swingers, no strings meetings and married people wanting a bit on the side I have no doubt that the levels of promiscuity are on the rise. I suspect that there were a lot of people who previously would’ve indulged in these activities but had no opportunity to do so due to the inability to find like minded people. Now all they have to do is get a computer and there they are, just a click away from a world of debauchery.
I’m thinking that it’s not a very safe world though.
Whilst HIV is a terrible thing I think one really positive effect to come from it was the way society wised up to the need for open discussion about sexual behaviour and educating teenagers the right way.
That is, recognising that we cant stop them from having sex but we should be telling them how to keep safe.
I think we’re way passed the point when HIV was considered a gay problem, in the beginning yes it was mostly affecting gay men - probably due to the nature of their sexual practises and high levels of promiscuity. But they wised up and learnt, sadly not before many of them had died.
And there are still some parts of the world where HIV transmission rates are very high.
Do we have to see epidemic proportions of straight people dying or becoming infertile due to chlamydia and gonorrhoea before the hetero world really gets the message ?
Wise up and rubber up people, even the most amazing sex is not worth dying for.
I want to add an update to this, and I will be also saying this to my mate...surely if he gets checked regularly, as he says he does, then he must be aware that there are risks ?
The guys a builder, I've seen work pics of him in which he's wearing a hard hat, to minimise risks to his personal safety.
Spot the irony ?