Tuesday, 8 February 2011

who could refuse ?

Sometimes when I’m bored and the in the company of my mate insomnia I use a social application on facebook, I like the random chats, opportunities to abuse, and there's a few fairly nice people that I talk to. As with a lot of sites there are allsorts there, most just want to pass time and have a giggle, but some are after no strings sex and others want a relationship. And of course I'm well aware that not everyone may be quite what they seem.
I’m happy being single, I’m not interested in ‘adult dating’ - honestly, tried that, wasn’t for me. Although I do intend to write about my experiences with it…that’ll be a laugh for sure.
I digress, as I say I’m alright as I am but you could say I live in hope.

So early last Friday morning I’m using this app and I get a message from a fella, just general chat for a bit then he asks me whereabouts in “our” city I am. So he’s local. Says he’s read my profile (which is really just me ranting about the wankers and serial shaggers that use the site) and he thinks I’m a funny girl.
Hmmm . . . hardly a girl.
We chat a bit longer, except now he starts ending messages with kisses and calling me sexy, 
“so tell me sexy have you always lived here then”
“what do you do for a living then sexy”
Hmmmm . . .

This irritates me, he doesn’t know me, he’s seen a couple of carefully chosen, shopped, realistic pictures but flattery is NOT gonna work on me, I’m far too cynical and especially online - but by now I’ve been chatting to this guy all morning on and off, he looks ok in his pictures so I decide to overlook the cheesy chat up and play along for bit.
Then he says,
“Dare I ask sexy have you ever met anyone off here”

So I point out, quite bluntly, that had he read my profile as he claimed to he would know that I was not using the site as a means of getting laid, and that one of the things I don’t like is the number of fellas who are.
He sounded a bit offended that I would even think that’s what he meant (well he would, wouldn‘t he) but benefit of the doubt, and we chat a bit more. Then he says,
“So tell me then sexy what are you doing tonight, have you got any plans?”
“Not sure yet, probably go and meet some friends”
No way was I ever intending to meet him, I feel I should make that clear, the minute he irritated me with the overused sexy he'd blown his chances really, but at this point I’m curious as to what exactly was on offer so I play along some more . . . .
“Is that anything definite, only I was wondering if maybe you’d like to meet up, maybe have a coffee and watch a film?”
So now I’m thinking, is he teetotal or something ? Most men would say a drink and the cinema, so I ask him,
“Why not a pub for a proper drink ?, it’s Friday night after all “
“Oh I can’t go out I gotta go to work, I’m a security guard at the scrap yard and I thought maybe you could come and keep me company”

The fucking scrap yard !!! 
Serious !!! 
This is the first offer of a ‘date’ I’ve had in about three months and it’s a HUT, in a SCRAP YARD drinking coffee and watching a film on what I don’t imagine would be a large HD plasma.
Talk about show a girl a good time. Not.

Fuck. Right. Off.

So anyway he’s blocked, fucking cheeky cunt. And yes I do find this very funny - in an ironic fuck my life kinda way.
Which is why I’m writing about it.
Unreal. But needs to be shared.
And thinking about it he’s gotta be married, cos any normal single man would want to wait until he had a night off and go out somewhere.
Who in their right mind would go and meet a fella for the first time in a place that’s a bit out of the way with no-one else around ?
And only a man who had no other option for meeting women would ask one to do so.

Unless he was a serial killer . . . . . . . .


  1. Doesn't it make you wonder if anyone has ever taken him up on meeting there?

  2. Totally, especially if I'm right - which I always am - and he's got a wife. More fool them if they have, I hope the wife finds out.

  3. Maybe he just got the job for a conveninent dumping ground. Dead bitches tell no tales;) Oh, man, I can;t believe I said that. I am going straight to hell.

  4. Hey girl, I remember in one of the threads, didn't somebody say he/she met the love of his/her life in a scrap yard? Just saying.
    Post script: He is def married. And def short and thin, where it matters.
    No loss. But stay safe and sharp particularly on FB or any other social networks. Who knows if they can grow brains overnight and stalk you?

  5. no, it was an airport carpark(kelly)and yes I know, don't worry I always am...actually its possibly them that need to be scared of me haha

  6. Ha ha ha! I remember that thread. I thought you were gonna go and throw down with a scrapyard rave, though.

    If you wanna travel to the states and to the midwest, we have a few decent scrapyards in the Omaha, NE area. I can show them to ya, and we can see how things go from there ;) LOL.

  7. Oh, he's definitely a serial killer. Why, cuz dead girls can't say no. (Yay I'm in the basket to hell with you guys) I know if you'd gone you'd now be hearing :It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.....

  8. Nah uh...but he'd be somewhere no-one could hear his screams.

  9. How did I miss this?! Your right sounds a lot like the guy from my "date" on my blog. Are you sure his name wasn't Dexter? Just another example of why I am so ecstatic to be single. The last one I chatted with online turned out to be paralyzed and in a wheel chair but had listed "a rousing game of football" as one of the hobbies he participated in regularly.


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