Friday, 18 February 2011

things are looking up

Funny how karma can throw the right thing your way just when you really need it.

I’ve not written any personal stuff about me here, as I didn’t want this to be a day by day account of my pretty boring life. But yesterday was quite exciting in Cowgirls world….

First a little background…
Just over two years ago something happened that was truly awful, and this event was followed by a year in which three other, not as bad but still quite traumatic, things occurred in my life. Without the first I probably would not have been quite as affected by the others, but the end result of all this took a year to really to catch up with me, and just as I was beginning to feel low anyway my then boss decided to pile the pressure on at work.
At this time I was about to buy a house but decided instead to leave my job, live off my savings and have some ‘time out’ to put my head back together and recover.
I gave myself six months.

Fourteen months later.
The savings are getting low, and I feel guilty that I’m still living in a rented house because buying a property was more about my sons future then mine. I have no doubt that I’ve been depressed, but then I think considering all that happened that’s quite understandable and a pretty normal reaction.
Lately I feel much better within myself, but with that came the realisation that I’m now stuck in a rut.
My jobs have always involved working with teenagers, which I’ve loved, but right now I don’t think I can go back to work that involves listening to other peoples problems because I’m very aware that my own issues are still weighing heavily.
I think it’s important to recognise that.

I’ve been looking at other options, but shop/office work would bore me silly, and use none of the skills I’ve learnt through my previous jobs.

Yesterday I caught up with an old friend - someone I haven’t seen for a couple of years, but one of those people where that doesn’t matter.
Turns out she had an ulterior motive for seeing me.
Her husband suffered a heart attack around the time I had last seen her - he is physically now fine, but has been left with a brain injury which means he has poor memory, mood swings and other issues to deal with.
I suppose the best way to describe it is he’s gone a little bit mad.
As my friend has a busy life she has asked me if I would like a job as a carer/companion for him. This is just about exactly what I need, I get to work with someone I like in a family setting, I can have some flexibility within the job, it satisfies my ‘caring’ side without being emotionally draining, and for the most part it’s just about keeping an eye out - for instance checking that he doesn’t leave a pan on the cooker and forget about it - she has also asked that I accompany him for days out.

As an added bonus the family are regular visitors to India - they go at least twice a year, and she said that part of the role will be to go with them if I want ( !!!! ) and that if I do I will get paid whilst there.
Dream job ? Much.

Anyway as yesterday I went to her house, which is always busy - next week she is coming to mine to discuss in more detail but I think she was as pleased that I said yes as I was to say it. I don’t think she wanted to give the job to someone her husband, who has poor recollection of people, didn’t know.
Funny she didn’t think he would recognise me as it’s been so long since I’ve seen them but as soon as I opened my mouth he said “ oh yeah, how could I forget you “.

Then the day got better still.

I get home and my landlord knocks my door as he was passing and wanted to check that my bay window roof (which had been leaking) had been fixed. He knew that I was planning to buy as we had arranged that if I moved out a friend of mine was going to move in. He also knows all about why that never happened, I’ve lived here for 11 years so he’s kind of a friend too, and he asked me if I’d found a job yet as I told him a while ago I was going to start looking, so of course I tell him about the events of the day.

Then he said that once I was working if I wanted him too he could help me sort out a mortgage despite my now depleted funds, and suggested that rather then find another house why don’t I just buy this one off him. Fucking result !!. I like this house, its just an average terrace but in the nicest part of town, and it is my home.

Things are looking up alright.


  1. Good to hear things are looking good for you. I relate to the stepping away from the field you work in. I left it for awhile and tried to sell cars, but sucked at that. I keep getting pulled back to working with at risk teens. Glad to hear you found something you can find fullfilling though.

  2. Thanks retch, I have no doubt at some point I'll return to working with kids but right now this is an absolute godsend.

  3. Two words: WOOT WOOT! Okay so they are not real words, but let me just say, no one stays at rock bottom all their life. Lovely for you to share the good news. Things are looking up indeed! Enjoy it!

  4. AMAZING! So happy for you. You are amazing and it is good to see good things happen to you.

  5. Dear Cowgirl, I am so happy for you. Cant help but share a quote I read somewhere... "Life waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant."

    Also, if and when you come to India, do let me know! Would love a chance to meet up.

  6. Thanks Just, and yes I certainly will.

  7. India? I apologize, but I was unable to read past that. Please, if you go, fold me up and stick me in your overhead compartment. Now my Friday nights will be for dreaming of India and what a lucky duck you are.


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