Son has officially moved out and is now living in a different country to me. Lucky bastard texted me last night to say he loves his room and was having a cigarette and enjoying the view on his balcony.
I’m waiting to see pictures.
|I'm imagining this . . . .and me sat on it.|
On a positive note I clean when upset so at least I’ve been crying in a shiny tidy house. I haven’t spoke to anyone, other then by text, for fear of sobbing down the phone which will no doubt bring people round and that is the last thing I want at the moment.
When I’m sad I like to be left alone.
Much as I like to wallow in self pity, and I'm fucking good at it - it’s not a spectator sport.
Also it occurs to me that if any old friends were to come here now they’d look at the lack of clutter and dust in my house and probably think I’ve regressed to my youth and am back on speed.
Still not feeling great today, made shepherds pie earlier then realised I’d made enough for him as well and promptly started crying. From this day forwards it will be called emotional pie in my house.
I suppose it’s to be expected really, I miss him already and most kids that leave home stay close enough to come for food five times a week.
|Is anyone hungry ?|
Every cloud and all that . . . .
Anyway I am very proud of him, it’s a brave thing to do for anyone and despite the fact that I will worry I know that he will be ok.
He’s gone away to do a safe job (he works in marketing for a Hotel company), in a beautiful city where he already has a few friends. I can call, text or talk online to him anytime, in fact he’s probably texted me more in the last 24 hours then he normally does in a week.
He’s only a two hour plane ride away - I’ve already looked at prices to go and see him on his birthday next month and it will only cost me £100.
And if for some reason things didn’t work out he can come home anytime.
Some people have to say goodbye to their children as they are going away to fight in war zones, where they have limited opportunities for contact, and where they cannot leave until their tour of duty ends.
How any parent copes with that I really don’t know.
My heart goes out to them.