Sunday, 30 January 2011

the grammar police

I think I'm turning into a fully paid up member.

If there's one thing that really fucking winds me up it's bad spelling and grammar.

Not that mine is perfect, especially if I'm on msn or some other chat thing where I'm pretty much typing as fast as I talk . . . or trying to . . . the rate I can talk I'd need 20 fingers to keep up, it's not unknown for me to miss out entire words. Of course strictly speaking that's not spelling incorrectly, that's just being forgetful and having a brain that's slightly dysfuntional or typing when stoned.
But if I spot a mistake I correct it.

I think anyone who types at any speed will sometimes get letters jumbled, particularly when they're next to each other on the keypad. Been many times I've been using abbreviated text and said U instead of I . . . or the other way round, and I'm very fond of talking about myslef - do that one all the time. I don't even have an issue with dyslexics, you can tell they have a real problem, although I have a few friends who have this condition and they love using a computer because it has that marvelous invention - spellcheck.

No, the ones that really make me want to punch them are the fucking idiots who can't spell but think they can, and especially the people that always get the same words wrong. And spellcheck ? They're either too thick to work out how to use it, or most likely they think they don't need to.

For instance, I know this fella whose teenage daughter ended up in hospital as a result of taking mephedrone, she'd bought it in school, so he decided to start a campaign to raise awareness, very brave and noble thing to do, except he called it :
Grrrrr . . . this tosser set up a facebook group, organised a rally, made banners, the fucking lot. None of his close friends told him (cunts - but then I wasn't gonna point it out either). It was only when the local paper got involved that the name was changed, but even after that he was still talking about ARE kids on his facebook status.

When I belonged to dating sites I saw a few fellas who were looking for "solemates", yeah right -  are we going fishing then ? Or are you looking for someone with the same size feet ? For fuck sake sort it out. One guy sent me this really nice message, I was quite taken until it got to the end when he said if I was interested . . . "I'll let you decide where we go for are first date"
Was never gonna happen.
That's how much it irritates me.
Use your fucking spellcheck !!!
Prime example below . . . the smiley is to spare his embarassment - but possibly also an improvement, spot the irony contained in his message . . .

Another friend had as his quote on facebook "seas the day".
I like this guy so I messaged him "sea means ocean, seize means grab", his reply was quite rude, I don't remember exactly what it said, but I messaged him again and said I was only trying to save him from looking stupid. He never replied and the quote is still there.

Even when you try and help these poor fools they just think you're taking the piss. So I do. All the time.
As my Gran used to say " you can't help those that don't want to be helped".



  1. So, umm "Seas the day" was not referring to a nice afternoon at the beach?

  2. Well, I was just trying to give the poor guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe not.

  3. i dunt car if my spellings socks

  4. hahahaha
    you are indeed an inspiration to idiots everywhere

  5. Seas the day? Good God. That shit drives me crazy. What's especially annoying is when people use apostrophes unnecessarily. Sometimes it's just a plural word, people!


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