Wednesday, 19 January 2011


So then . . . . 
Wonder if anyone will actually read this ? 

Would anyone be interested in the thoughts of an often incoherent, sarcastic, immature and presently apparently depressed woman.
According to the doctor anyway, I think I'm just suffering from manic boredom.
But tonight I have spent five hours reading someone elses blog, ok someone who has lead a far more interesting life then I, but I'm feeling inspired all the same.

I've always had a lot to say for myself . . . some might say I talk too much. Actually I'm lying, everyone says I talk too much, but that's better then saying nothing and I do love to speak my mind even if it offends.
In fact I don't care if it does, sometimes it's quite intentional.
Given the current circumstances of my life I suppose I'm hoping that this may at least prove to be a cathartic experience. I have always subscribed to the idea that if you write it down you can look at a problem objectively. Except I've never 'wrote it down' where the world and his wife could read it if they chose to.
Not that thats what I'm planning to do here, it might happen though, seeing as I have no plan about this.

Is it possible to find an answer to all the dilemmas I feel like I'm facing at the moment just from regarding them as if they were someone elses issues and not mine ? I don't really think so, given that most of it appears to be in my head. Only thing I'm really certain of at the moment is that I do need to get it sorted and the solution is not gonna lie at the bottom of a pill bottle nor by doing nothing about it
And no, I really dont think I do wanna put all that boring crap on here.
Ah life . . .
Right at this precise moment in time I feel like my head is full of cotton wool, and sometimes just getting up seems to require so much effort, I need motivation and direction and most importantly I need a job. Not just for money, for normality.
I hate routine yet I'm craving it at the same time.
I left my job because I needed a break having just had possibly the worst two years of my life, but the six months self imposed sabbatical I decided to give myself is over a year now. and thats just too long to be out of the loop.
Need to get on that asap.
Still not sure what I'll write here, or how often . . . I'm an insomniac who loves to write so most likely incoherent ramblings from the 'wee small hours', no doubt with liberal amounts of sarcasm.

Yeah, that sounds about right - write a letter to myself everytime I can't sleep.
Spose it's an improvement on talking to myself.
I do too much of that.

Dear diary.....?? Fuck off.

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