Wednesday, 26 January 2011

show us your knob


A true story

So my best friend and I decided to have a night out, just a quiet one, and go to a couple of bars near our houses.
Like me she's loud n lairy and as much of a cunt as I am - together we're worse.
I get to her house and she's aquired some class A, so we have that and off we go.

Being loud as we are we cause mayhem in the pub and several shots later and having gotten very drunk we decide we better leave before we're thrown out and head to another bar. It's still fairly early - maybe 8pm, and this is a sunday night so the road we're walking down, although a high street is quiet.
Apart from the noise we're making.
As we approach a road we need to cross a man turns the corner on the other side and appears to stop, and because we're drunk, and since I'm not wearing my glasses we can't quite make out what he's doing at first.

Then we realised.
He's flashing at us.
This rather fat bloke is stood there holding his coat open shaking his cock at us.

Now . . . imagine the mindset of the average flasher - he gets off on the reactions of his victims - he wants them to be shocked and horrified, scared, startled, taken aback - and he's most likely used to them screaming and running away.
Wasn't this ones lucky day.

At first, because we didn't know what he was doing we were just stood there looking, as we both realised (which took a few minutes during which he was stood there wobbling his bits and probably thinking we were frozen in horror) we screamed alright . . . but with laughter . . . then I've had to sit down.
Right there in the middle of the road.
I was laughing so hard that if I hadn't I was in danger of wetting myself.  Meanwhile my mate is digging in her bag looking for her phone and in between laughing I'm telling her to get a photo . . . at which point the flasher has started to walk quickly away. As he does she finds her phone and shouts at him to stay there, but he speeds up so she goes running after him shouting "come back I want to take a picture of your cock" . . . I'm now crying I'm laughing so much and the flasher ran, her chasing him.
We like to think that he has now been ostracised by the flasher community, if there is one he's an outcast.

As luck would have it five minutes later we saw a police car and flagged it down. As we explained to the police what had just happened we were laughing so much we made them laugh too and before they went off to try and find him they agreed we'd probably scared him off and "good on you girls".

And no, we didn't get that picture.


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6 comments:

  1. Ha ha. Way to go! Ruined the perv's night!

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  2. I have tears streaming down my face.

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  3. bbbwwwwooooaaaahhhhhhhahaahahahaaahahh.

    he fucked with the wrong mamas!

    classic story- wish i was pissing in the road with you ladies, for real!

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  4. hahahaha my gf and i, actually took a photo of a hobo flashing his dong to us. He was standing on a corner with his pants down posing like a star. I told my gf to grab the camera and take a photo, she did so. The guy had the nastiest grin on his face when he saw the camera's flash. It was weird but pretty funny. I might still have the photo in my pc somewhere hahahaha

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  5. Ha ha ha - similar thing happened to me on the backstreets of Athens, a cute guy showing me the way to the train down an alley. He was fumbling with his zip a couple of meters in front and I stopped, he turned and I was already pissing myself laughing, mostly at the fact that I was being flashed at. What a scream, couldn't believe my luck and now I had a travel story.

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