Saturday, 25 February 2012

dear dave. . . again

Dear Dave,

After the last time I wrote to you I was really hoping you would consult me about any future decisions regarding this country you are driving into the ground supposed to be running.

I guess you didn't learn eh ?
What will it take for you to realise that I am always fucking right.

I don't watch the news very often and I refuse to buy the papers as I have no use for propaganda and celebrity gossip, so I haven't been keeping an eye on you.
But today I happened to read one that someone left on the train and what do I see.

Apparently you are colluding with the fucking French.
And you know how I feel about them.
If you don't then maybe you should read this.
Some plan to jointly build a pilotless aircraft with them ? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT ???
Even I, with my limited knowledge of politics know enough about their history to know that they cannot be trusted when it comes to anything to do with war.
How very ironic that the country whose attitude is usually "nothing to do with us...." whenever the rest of the world decides to get involved in a conflict in some godforsaken corner of the globe wants to build the latest in warfare technology with us.

If it's a success they will take all the credit (and no doubt cream off the profits ) and if not we will get all the blame.

And as if that isn't bad enough apparently you have struck some deal with them over nuclear power.
Doing what exactly ?
What the fucking fuck.
The sweetener for us, the British public, is that this deal will mean jobs.
Please tell me you haven't agreed to process all the nuclear waste from the country that has more nuclear power plants then any other ?

Seeing as I'm taking the time and trouble to write to you let me have a brief word about Syria. I understand that you are having meetings about the situation there. Whilst I'm sure the Syrians who are opposed to what is happening in their country appreciate the efforts of anyone who tries to help, I watched a news update the other day where a reporter was showing your picture to the people and none of them even knew who you were.
So what makes you think they are going to listen to you ?

And how can you possibly hope to resolve the situation when there are not representatives from all the different factions involved in the conflict present ?

We all know you're not likely to actually call for a military intervention, there isn't any oil in Syria.
Although I'm sure if you asked your new mates the French they might suggest you hurry up with the new plane so you can bomb the fuck out of the place, just to check it works.
It's not like they're going to let you test it anywhere they have a vested interest in after all.

And before you start telling the rest of the world how to run it's affairs perhaps you need to try and sort out the mess you're making of this country.

I'd like to thank you for listening, but I bet you don't.


  1. Trade ya your idiot for one of ours.

  2. Je suis desolee, but you're hilarious. I love the photo captions. I admit I can't think of his name and have to Google it. Some PMs or dictators or whatever are around so long that I can't get them out of my head. I think Franco and Tito are still alive. Tony Blair remains PM. I'm not even convinced that Lenin died.


  3. I have been preaching the same about the French for years. Don't trust them, they smell and the food sucks.

  4. The captions on the pictures, say more about the man then anything else I've ever read about him.
    Contemptous smug bastard!

  5. OH OH OH! I almost forgot, I've got a huuuuuge favour to ask you.
    Sending you an email. :)

  6. If you are always right, then is it possible to book an appointment with you so that I can discuss which course my life should take now and in the future.

  7. David Cameron is a disgraceful Prime Minister, in my opinion the guy just completely sucks. I've always wanted him to not get the Prime Minister's role but he has it now and we have to deal with it I guess. Cameron out!

  8. I'd like to think he'd listen but you're right the only thing he listens to is his own ego and smug voice telling him he's perfect.

  9. Oh, my, this story your politicians depresses me. We, apparently, aren't the only ones with weasels running the show.
    Hey, don't pick on the French. They had Napoleon and....uh.....well, they had Napoleon.
    And they think Jerry Lewis is a comic god.
    On second thought, go ahead and pick on the French.
    It's not like they'll fight back.

  10. He hates the french, he loves the french, he loves the french, he hates the's like a bad soap opera or he's sat there picking petals off a daisy

  11. Love the captions, very funny! I tend not to pick on other countries, just my own (USA) and that would take up the next few hours (days/years) of my life if I ranted on about that...

  12. Nice post. I for one find your views really interesting.


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