Friday, 17 February 2012

it's not right, but it's ok

And so Whitney becomes yet another person to enter that ever increasing group of musicians who lost their lives as a result of living the high life too hard.
Of course it's tragic, but given her well publicised descent into drug and alcohol dependancy can anyone really be that surprised ?

Apparently this now makes her a legend.
Why ?
If it was a random junkie found dead lying in a back alley in a pool of vomit everyone would say they deserved it, if they bothered to have an opinion at all. Just because you're rich and famous are you immune from the reactions the rest of us would get if we decided to push the self destruct button ?
There are many people who turn to drugs as a means of escape from whatever horrors life has thrown at them and nobody gives a fuck, other then to think they are bad people.


What annoys me is the public mourning that seems to follow any of these deaths.
Why are all these idiots suddenly acting as if they lost a friend ?
Suddenly social networks are full of outpourings of grief from people who might not have even said they were a fan last week. It's like Diana syndrome all over again, everyone wants a piece of sympathy, everyone has a favourite Whitney song that they are going to torture the neighbours with play over and over, and of course once again lay the blame for her demise squarely at the feet of Bobby Brown.

Be sad for her and her family if you must, but it's not a time for more recriminations and unless you personally knew her why are you so upset ? It's true that she always had a good church girl reputation before they got together, but who really knows. And if any of these losers mourners really cared they would realise that right now Bobby is grieving and trying to help their child through the worst time of her life.
Same thing happened with Amy Whinehouse and her husband - even though she already had a bad girl rep when they got together, he still got vilified in the press for being responsible for her addictions.

That pisses me off too. Unless someone holds a gun to your head or physically forces you to take something then it's nobodies fault but your own, in fact it's not even a matter of fault, it's actually a question of choice.
Albeit a bad choice.
Snort or smoke ? Weed or crack ?
You decide.
When it comes to taking drugs for purely recreational reasons the only difference between celebrities and the rest of us is that they have enough money to afford better quality drugs and plenty of them.
More choice.
Which of course means stronger and therefore more likely to produce a dependancy far quicker.

When I first discovered the joys of getting off my face the only thing I could afford in any quantity was speed, but I bet the rich and famous can get anything they want.
I do know people who tried drugs and didn't like how they felt so never did it again.
I loved it, and during that period of my life I only had relationships with fellas who loved them too. Anyone who was concerned about my drug use could've easily looked at that and blamed the guys, but the truth was I WANTED to get smashed.
All the fucking time.
And when your life is going down that route chances are that the people you will meet and attract are on the same path. Imagine trying to have a relationship when one of you is permanently smashed and the other is stone cold sober, it would be like spending your life arriving at a party six hours late.

But mutual partying can all too easily turn into mutual destruction.
I've been there.

I think that often what causes the downfall of celebrities when it comes to drink and drugs is actually the lifestyle that enables it in the first place. There are a lot of people who like to get smashed and party but because they are ordinary folk who have responsibities like going to work and taking care of other aspects of their lives they can't be continually wasted. But when you don't have to do the mundane things that keep the rest of us grounded it must be very easy to just party all the time - and then it can all too easily become a dependency that isn't fun anymore.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the occasional joint, I used to smoke weed every day, even after I stopped everything else.
But the occasional crack pipe ? No such thing.

Personally I kind of liked bad Whitney better.
I could relate to her.
My Love is Your Love is the only CD of hers I own, far superior to all the sugary disco ballady crap she made before it.
Although I used THAT song (which I actually hate) as a child behaviour modification device.

You know how every parent has the thing they threaten their kids with to get them to stop whatever devilment they are getting up to ?
Well of course most times "The Look" is enough, but there’s always those times when parents are forced to resort to the Naughty Step or GO TO YOUR ROOM!

I had a better one.

Mine was STOP IT OR I’LL SING THAT SONG. The song in question being I Will Always Love You.
Seriously, I would just sing “iiiifff iiii ……”
And son would say,
“Alright alright I’ll stop just PLEASE DON’T SING”
Honestly, it worked. Every fucking time.

Even now he hates my singing, and I don't blame him it's truly awful, but one of the joys of parenthood is returning the embarrassment your little brat angel knowingly unwittingly forced upon you when they were small.
Has to be done.
And I've never been one to miss an opportunity for a spot of revenge.
So when Son went out and left his mobile at home I recorded myself singing the Whitney song all the way through. High screeches notes and all.

Then set it as the ringtone for when I called him.

And waited until he was round his mates a couple of days later then called him.

And for that I thank you Ms Houston. RIP.


  1. I'm firmly in the no-big-shocker-I'm-surprised-this-didn't-happen-sooner-and-this-has-no-effect-on-my-life-just-like-Amy-Winehouse camp.

    She's done nothing of note in the past several years, save for occasionally showing up in tabloids for her wacky drug-fueled antics. RIHB, Whitney

    RIHB: Rest in Hot Box

  2. WE ARE THE SAME PERSON! I used to threaten to sing Copacabana. As for Whitney, I wasn't really a fan. I feel sorry for her daughter, but that's as far as it goes.


  3. I could not have said this better!! She is responsible for the choices she made, nobody but but her. I feel sad for her daughter and her mom. That's it.

  4. You're definitely right that Whitney's death wasn't surprising in the slightest, when you live that kind of life you're eventually going to die, Whitney knew that, everyone with sense involved in that kind of thing should know that. You're right that junkies who die would get no respect or love and you're right too about how people react to the death of famous people in general as well because it certainly is out of proportion in my opinion, great post Dirty Cow Girl!

  5. He he - yeah. And that think about good husbands - so true.

  6. My feelings exactly! I am sick of seeing and hearing about Whitney Houston everywhere since she died. I didn't seek her out when she was alive and I hate having her shoved in my face every 5 minutes now that she is dead. I feel for her family, her daughter and Bobby, but no more than I would feel for anyone else going through the same thing. No one forced her, it was a choice she made and unfortunately it's her family that is paying the price. Yesterday someone posted a photo shopped photo of her and Michael Jackson hugging in the clouds wearing angel wings on my FB. Just a little overkill....I get tired of seeing all the shit about him too. The only difference is I kind of liked him. I think I am drawn to crazy people.

  7. I have to say that I love the trick you played on your son. I bow to you. I don't know any celebrities personally, but there are a few I would mourn the ass off of if they died. In a way musicians can become a huge part of a persons life, and they will feel it when it's gone. However I will agree on people not caring so much when a celebrity is on drugs unless it's seriously bad. If Lohan had a drunken car wreck people would be like "Eh bitch deserved it" and I think they did do that with Winehouse. I don't think anyone doubted she drugged herself to death. I've never really touched drugs at all myself, but don't have a problem with people that do.

  8. I understand that it is news (sort of) because she is a celebrity, but feel exactly the same as you when it comes to people's reactions. I have never met the woman and felt no pain when I heard of her passing. The story interested me for a day as I learned the details, but I can't miss her since I didn't know her.

  9. it really is strange that it is ok to be a junkie when you're famous. people put down those on the streets who are no different.

    it kills me.

  10. I didn't know anything about Whitney except what I saw in her reality show. Just like I didn't know anything about drugs until I started to lose people I loved to addiction.

  11. Yeah I wasn't surprised to hear the cause of death. Though I thought she was much older than she actually was.

  12. That ringtone thing is a riot! I would have loved to have seen his face when you called him!

    I agree that too much is made of celebrity overdoses!

  13. I just hate the word "tragedy" used in her death. She was self destructive. It's not a tragedy, it's simple cause and effect.

    And the people crying about it...when was the last time anyone said, "I just have to hear me some Whitney!"

    For a decade now she's been nothing but a tabloid headline. And she died as she lived.

  14. I'm not the least bit concerned that she died. What do I care? I don't know the woman as a close friend or relative. Sure she was famous, had some good songs. Big deal.

    Sure it's sad when someone dies but unless they have a direct impact on my life, I'm not going to think anything of it.

    That punishing ringtone thing is genius! I can't wait till my kids are older and have their own phones so I can do that to them!

    There was definitely some mojo in this post! Great job!

  15. I can't wait until I'm famous and I can die of an of an overdose. Good times.

  16. I have two reactions to this death shit.
    1] surprise surprise surprise. crack and pills and the downward spiral. sad and pathetic. i feel bad for her family. starts and stops there.
    2] many famous celebs are bright burning stars. they shine so so intensely, they lose juice early and expire. it's okay.

    I try to look at stuff like this not only from a self-destructive p.o.v. but also from a detached zen way. people live and people die. no miracle there. observe and let it go.
    or if I have p.m.s. and am feeling cunty, I'd say hey- we all contribute to our lives deeply.
    she brought this on herself.

    in some subliminal way she did. sadly.

    whether she went to 3 doctors and 5 pharmacies and was hiding the lethal pill combo, or whether she was not strong enough to remove herself from the people who influenced her negatively... she is gone. dead.
    many years have passed since she was in the real spotlight. i am not referring to her trainwreck "reality" tv mess. i mean her singing career. poor thing.
    i always thought she was a lesbian.
    maybe if she stopped fucking with bobby and ate some pussy, she'd be singing again and doing subaru commercials like a self-respecting famous lesbian would love.

    i thought she had the greatest love of all inside of her.
    too bad she did not.


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