Friday, 16 September 2011

phone a friend

Hey people ! I have been given a new alter ego by my blogger pal Powdered Toast Man.
I am. . . Ivonna Bangkok.
And he invited my new persona to guest over on his blog Just The Cheese. Hop on over and have a read. . . it's way more interesting then the drivel you're gonna read if you stay here today.

But if you still want to then here goes. . . .

I'm not a stupid person when it comes to intelligence, but I have a tendency to do dippy stupid things and sometimes not see the obvious until it's stared me in the face for a hour then given up and left. I often have days that are a catalogue of one disaster after another, usually quite trivial things on their own but when 447 all happen in the same day I have to wonder if it's just me.

I had this little issue last night, and when I told a mate about it the response was 'only you' and 'why am I not surprised', so I thought I'd tell my flock about it.

Just so you know what you're dealing with.

I may have mentioned once or twice that I am utter crap at getting up in the mornings nocturnal. This is fine with my job, sometimes I'm a bit late but then sometimes I stay a bit later, but there have been a couple of days when I have failed to wake up until the afternoon. My boss (who is a friend) has just laughed about it (dream job huh ?) but that doesn't mean that I don't feel bad. I do.

I need one of these to get me up.
In that respect it would be easier if I didn't work for a friend, because then I wouldn't feel like I'd let her down.
Except if I didn't I would've been fired.
Months ago.

As of this week there has been a change in her circumstances which mean that it's going to be really helpful to her if I can get in much earlier a couple of days a week. She hasn't asked but I offered as it feels like a great way to make up for all the times I've not turned up until 3pm been a little late.

Today was the first day, so I asked her to call me and wake me but to use my landline not the mobile, I use that as my alarm anyway so I know sometimes it doesn't work.
I hear it in my sleep and tell myself to ignore it, I actually remember doing that. Often.
I never use the landline - if it wasn't needed for broadband I would get rid, but with this in mind I had it in my head that I needed to call it and check it worked as Son was home last week and I could sort of recall him saying it didn't.
I forgot all about this until I was going to bed, later then I wanted to - fucking internet sucked me in again, and by this time I was knackered. So I call it from my mobile and it doesn't ring.
It's cordless but when I looked at the cradle the phone wasn't in it although the charger was plugged in, so I figure it must be the phone that rings and it's battery must be dead.

Half an hour of searching the house and I found it . . . on the pile of DVDs next to the charger.
Minus one battery.
It has special rechargeable ones so I spend another half an hour digging through all the little places it could be - even got the torch out and looked under the sofa.

Then it occurs to me that ordinary batteries might work so off I go to find some. No luck, until I remember where I do have some.
Ah well . . . there goes the bedtime treat.
I put said batteries in phone, put it on the charger and the little red light blinks. Result . . .
. . . and ring it. Still not working.

Then I wondered if I was ringing the wrong number. My sisters old number was very similar and I was forever getting them mixed up, especially as I never call my number. Except I don't have it stored on my phone and by now it's midnight and far too late to call anyone else. But I need to get the right number and text my boss so she can call me in the morning.
It's now so late and I'm so tired I KNOW I won't wake up without her doing so.

I texted Son. . . wait 15 mins. . . no reply. Knowing that he probably has his laptop on but as he lives in a shared flat has likely got his headphones in I fire up the laptop and facebook him.
Wait 15 mins. . . no reply.
The only other place I can think of to check it is the website of the phone/internet provider. I try to get on there and realise I forgot the fucking password and username.
So I have to go through the entire verification process which takes another half an hour because their stupid fucking site was running slow.
"Please be patient we are dealing with your request".
Eventually I get onto the site only to find out that the number I have been calling is the right one.

There is only one thing for it, I will have to stay up all night.
Sometimes I do this anyway. . . anyone who I chat to in the forums knows that, but last night I was exhausted. And when an insomniac does eventually sleep it's more like a coma.
Somewhere in my bedroom is a bottle of slimming tablets so I figure I'll dig them out and take a couple. At least when I get home from work the next day my house will be very very clean even if I'm too knackered to enjoy it.

And if get bored I can always return the batteries to the appliance I got them from.

So I decided - two hours after I was originally going to bed - that I may as well have a soak in the bath instead of a shower being as I've now got six hours to kill.
Whilst I'm laying there I was thinking about what Son had said about the phone, you know that feeling when something is nagging at your brain ?

Then I got it.
He said "It's not plugged in". I had taken that to mean the plug for the charger which was the first thing I had checked.
He meant the actual phone socket.


This fucker.
Only I wouldn't even think to check the one thing most people would check first.
I plug it in and ring it and it works.
Great !!!
Except when I took the handset upstairs to get some sleep (at 2.30am ffs) and looked at it I realised that it actually has a built in alarm function that works independently of it being plugged in as long as it has battery charge.

Did I feel stupid.
Yeah. And very very tired.
But at least not as stupid as this person.

As you can see I left a suitable comment.

Last night I tried my own patients too.

Update: I made it to work an hour and a half earlier then usual as planned.
That is the time I'm supposed to get there usually, not the time I usually get there,


  1. I don't think it qualifies as an appliance:D That made me laugh.

  2. I read your whole post without blinking. I knew you are my evil twin sister.
    But I am curious, did you make it to work in time?
    Did you snooze while on the job? Because that would be more conclusive evidence. hehehe

  3. Wow that's a pretty stressful night O_O I go to bed at like 2 anyway, I don't have anything worth waking up for early to be honest.

  4. He should have said "it's not connected" rather than "it's not plugged in". Little nuances of language can make all the difference.

  5. That is a very funny story and made me laugh and laugh. Glad you made it to work on time!

  6. This exhausted me!
    I'm going to sleep.
    Okay, one story:
    One day I pulled the house apart trying to find my cell phone. I flipped mattresses over, tore through my sock/underwear drawer (WHY I thought it would be in there is a mystery), checked under the couch cushions, and even pored through my garbage.
    At my wit's end (not a far trip), I implored my wife to help me. She suggested I call my number.
    I did.
    My pocket starting ringing in my pants (I think you call them trousers).
    That's it.

  7. Ivonna Bangkok!! Hahahahaha!! Funniest thing I've read in ages! :D :D

  8. i don't take jobs that i have to get up any earlier than 10 for lol!

    i am NOT good at mornings.

    i used to have an alarm at the other side of the room that i would have to get up to turn off and i would keep walking to the shower and wake up while scrubbing myself down :)

  9. LMAO! DCG that's hilarious! Well done for getting to work early, pity that you had to forego your 'bed time treat though'.

  10. Hey dirtycowgirl!! Miss blogging with you, but here are some links to what I'm doing now. I am slowly becoming anti-Google because they suck and won't even give me the courtesy of complaining about them screwing me up the you-know-what.
    Anyway, I am still writing for HubPages, started another blog with WordPress and I finally got my website up and running a couple of days ago!!

    Here are links to my articles:

    Here is the link to my blog at wordpress:

    AND here is my website
    I need to know what you think, suggestions, etc. It's only been up 2 days, but I am optimistic!

    Last but not least, I am on Twitter as @stayingalivmom

    Will definitely be keeping in touch with you as I feel like we wer starting to forge a good friendship! Take care and keep in touch!!

  11. @Jamie, it depends how you use it really.
    @Krouth, sank you darlink.
    @PB, I updated it for you.
    @Mark, it was and I still didn't really sleep, in an ideal world I would be up later every night too.
    @GB, you're right - but I probably would've taken that to be the line wasn't working.
    @Chuck, that's a normal day in my world - glad it amused you though.
    @Al, sweet dreams.
    @Vee, kinda appropriate isn't it ? Mind you I had to read the name 3 times before I got it.
    @Andrea - that's the time I'm supposed to be there, and I'm still late 3 times a week.
    @Lily, well I nearly did and then I remembered the film you told me about.
    @Momma, Nice to see you here, have asked Stories to pass a message to you :)


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