Wednesday, 17 August 2011

cowgirl presents...#2

Greetings people of Earth! If you don't know by now, Dirty Cowgirl is absent this week. Wait! don't click away just yet. A few fellow bloggers (me) have been granted the opportunity to dance in front of your eyes. I'm smart enough to know that you don't want to hear me, a DCG minion drone on too long about anything. As such, in an attempt to appeal to this brilliant, charming AND attractive audience I have composed a familiar tale on the origin of Dirty Cowgirl. If you enjoy it you might want to come on over and check out my blog for something to keep you busy until she returns.  Now, let us get on to today's entertainment. 

The Story of Dirty Cowgirl

Beneath a hollow empty,
through a decrepit hole,
beyond a glimpse of lighted land
is where it all unfurled.
Further than a memory
whence even soot and 
ash had curled,
a single note squawked weak
and muffled from a distant

That note it hummed with
inspiration once frozen
in the rock, 
and formed itself a body,
composed of sand and snot.
That body it did harmonize
with fury and intent,
it paced through cavern valleys
and climbed up through descent.
When that form at last met sunshine
it flailed upon the earth,
and drew a breath of freedom,
a dirty cowgirl's birth.

This girl she grew through
infancy and harnessed all
her rage, 
she delicately planned a 
course for when she came
of age.
she carried many weapons,
most were wary of her whip
but fools they found out quick to
fear the cracking of her lip.

a wall of sound
a shriek profane, 
enveloped every utterance,
her aural assault 
laid bodies out 
and put them in an ambulance.

her loves?
and shoes
and booze
and psychedelic drugs
her fear?
from the sky
by hostile
alien slugs.

she's a theif
not a liar,
a convenient crier
whenever it suits her 
to escape Scott free
with a box of choclates
from a Woolworth's STD.

sucking on a lemon 
truly makes her feel alive,
stuck in suspended animation
she's forever 25.

Thanks for reading everybody, here's hoping for a quick and safe return of Dirty Cowgirl.


  1. You got Drone in my Dirty Cowgirl! It tastes awesome, nicely done.

  2. Yah boo sucks!!!!

    I bet she's watching in anyway. ;-)

    Oh what fun.....can you post up discussions in TCS in her name and reply in her name????? ;-0

  3. lmao! drone ... lovely song ... lovely and your high kicks are to die for!!

    btw, where did you get those fancy stilettos? and how'd you learn to dance so well in them?!?!

  4. You're too kind to her - she's made of more evil substances that sand and snot.

  5. What a great piece of writing! My opinion is in no way biased.

    I am glad that several of you were entertained.

  6. That was one fine bit of served your mistress well.

  7. More razor blades please. I heart DCG too!


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