just hot air

If you think you read this before you probably did. 

This is a re-post as the original was linked on another blog and I wanted to break the link.

Why do so many people have such a problem with farts ? Especially if a woman lets rip.

Ok if it stinks it’s not nice, but as long as you own up to it does it really matter. I find it hilarious how embarrassed some people can get over them - my own preference is to announce when one is brewing. At least that way I can gauge the potential reaction of everyone around me, and if it looks like there’s someone whose likely to be deeply offended I can point my arse in their direction move away from them.

Apparently to the Greeks it is a real insult and not at all socially acceptable. I worked with a Greek guy who said that even though he had been with his girlfriend for two years he would never fart in front of her. Of course my question then was what did he do if they were getting busy and he needed to fart - he said he would leave the room.

So your naked, horny and with a long term partner yet you leave the room ? What the fuck ? I asked how he felt if she did a fanny fart, but he just looked VERY embarrassed and left the room.
I guess that answered the question then.

Unfortunately how we came to even have this conversation was because this was one of the kids homes I worked in, and when one of the boys had farted at the dinner table his reaction had been completely over the top.
Big mistake.
Once the little monsters darlings knew he had a problem with farts he was forever damned to be subjected to them. If he was around and one of the boys suddenly ran up and stood by him we all knew what was coming.

The team manager and I then took to waiting until he was outside in the garden having his morning cigarette then join him for our morning farts. And the manager was a big Cornish fella - he could blow a fart that you could use to sail a ship.

Actually I think South Park might’ve been on to something when they made the episode about people spontaneously combusting because they were afraid to fart.
There are a few documented incidents of Spontaneous Combustion, the ones that I’ve read about in England appeared to happen in olden times when people were much more uptight about everything, so I would think even less inclined to fart, and women were laced up tight in corsets so it might’ve been impossible for them.

Lets face it if you have to hold it in it hurts - do that often enough it’s gonna have a derogatory effect sooner or later.

And if you’ve ever seen anyone light a fart you’ll have no doubt there’s potential for explosion.

The first time I ever saw anyone do that I thought it was the funniest thing ever. Well I was about 17, the problem was the boyfriend that did it liked my reaction so much he then proceeded to set light to it EVERY time he farted.

It soon got a bit old.

When I was even younger me and my two best mates taught ourselves how to fanny fart at will.
Our favourite source of amusement was to sit at the back of the bus and do them.

Even though they didn’t smell the looks of disgust we would get from other passengers was hilarious, people would make faces and wave their hands as if it stank - sometimes even moving seats.

That just made us worse.

I laugh about that even more now because none of us really understood what we were doing, we were young and naïve.

Farting has always had comic value - there was famous music hall performer in the 1800’s named Josef Pujol whose act was to fart musically, and the audiences of the day found this very funny. I wonder how those same people would have reacted had it been the person sat next to them, although the music halls were considered risqué at time - they were after all the original home of burlesque.

Did anyone ever fart while doing the Can Can ?

People are odd though, I’ve been sat in the Cinema and someone’s farted (no, it wasn't me) and the reactions varied from laughter to disgust, yet if someone farts in a comedy film everyone finds it funny.

I laugh at my own farts - and I don’t care if that’s as bad as laughing at your own jokes.
I do that too.

Who knows ? Wherever I might be by the time you guys see this post it certainly won't be snowing.

Yup. Fooled you, this was a scheduled post !! I'm still on holiday !! See y'all soon :)X