Wednesday, 2 November 2011

countdown



A few things have pissed me off already this week, and it's only Wednesday.
First up was some stupid idea I heard being talked about on the news to offer all pregnant women the option of a C section, even when there are no expected problems. Why ? Who in their right mind is going to choose a potentially dangerous (as are all ops) procedure with a six week recovery period, over a natural process that most women recover from pretty quickly.
Lazy cows who think they are too posh to push and scared young girls who shouldn't be having a baby anyway, that's who.

Then there was the stupid fuckwit on the train who in the course of a twenty minute journey rang four people to tell them about his sick dog and the discharge it was producing. (Nice, bet a few people on that train didn't want their dinner when they got home). He also kept saying that the dog needed to be 'spayded' - I really don't know how I stopped myself from shouting IT'S SPAYED YOU FUCKING MORON - and that he was now thinking about getting rid of the dog.
Obviously he had it just for breeding too.
Yeah not even gonna go there with how I feel about people who do that.
Pets are pets not money / baby making machines.

I am also pissed off at a new TV series I started watching which is not doing anything for the image of young black people who live in inner city estates.
Anyone wanting to have a few stereotypes reaffirmed should watch Top Boy. It may well be an accurate representation of life for some in a sink estate. . . but I bet a lot of people watching it are thinking that's EXACTLY how ALL young black men live their lives.

However I am feeling pretty buzzed up too, as it's now just five weeks until I'm heading off for a month in the sun and I feel like the countdown has begun. I'm not gonna let the annoyances get to me.
There's been a few things that have amused me too.

Sometimes in the morning a young blind man and his guide dog get the train, he's sat by me a couple of times and we've had a chat. His dog is still a puppy really, and he's not had him long so is still teaching him. Today he sat further down the train and I could hear someone asking him questions, this person clearly didn't know much about guide dogs and he asked the guy. . .
"How do they know where to go, do they learn the addresses of places ?"
And the reply,
"He's a dog, not a four legged furry Sat Nav".

I laughed out loud at that.

Watching a quiz show on TV with the four year old granddaughter at work, someone answered "USA"
"What's the USA Cowgirl ?"
"It means America, it's proper name is the United States of America"
"Don't be silly, you can't eat it, it's a country not a steak".

I've also got a couple of Facebook moron classics to share.
There is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to start. . .


Do male cows get milked ?
Well yes they do, but not for anything you'd want to drink.

The male has more downstairs ?
What ? Like a coffee table and a corner unit.

Don't know about bulls - but I can see plenty of bullshit.

And Thick Bird, she whose lack of intelligence has featured here a few times before has been at it again, having yet another dig at her children's father.
And once again I couldn't resist having a dig at her.


I love the fact that she doesn't even realise I'm having a dig back, I was actually about to type another comment under this.
"My door is stuck, do you think Steve could come round and loosen it for me ?"

But he beat me to it, and I reckoned he deserved to get the last word when I saw this. . .




What a winner.

I also saw this on FB today.
I know that advertisers are supposed to tell the truth, but isn't this taking it a bit too far. . .
Even though I agree.



He certainly is.


I'm off to look for bikinis on ebay. I'm hoping to find one that makes me appear three sizes smaller and ten years younger.


32 comments:

  1. Dipshits here in the states say "spayded" as well. Idiots.

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  2. The thing about pregnant women all being offered C Sections is ridiculous. It's extremely frustrating in my opinion. I laughed at that Facebook argument too, stupid woman airing her dirty laundry on the internet in public. Sorry to hear your week's been frustrating so far, let's hope it gets better!

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  3. Man!!! if you find that bikini.....please oh please let me know who you get it from, cause I want one of those too!!!!!!
    Your facebook friend sounds awesome....I have a couple of idiot friends like that too, I keep them around for a good laugh.

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  4. hahahaha in my facebook sidebar there's an ad for a church, and the attention-getting line is "free bread and wine!"

    so what i gather from this is that italian chain restaurants are in DIRECT competition with churches. uh oh.

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  5. @IWF - yup, and they are my RL fb friends too.
    @nix, they're everywhere.
    @Yeamie, thanks - but they do give me fodder for the blog so it's ok.
    @Choleesa, I will - just wish I could invent one 'cos I know I'd get very rich very quick. I Only keep them on my list for that reason too.
    @ihe, that sounds about right, but I know which one I prefer to go to and it isn't the one that wants me on my knees.

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  6. Ah dcg, I love it when you share stuff about your FB friends, it's always a good laugh! Hope your week gets better. :)

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  7. Oh my; those two on facebook should never have been allowed to reproduce!

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  8. ROFL XD The Facebook posts are just awesome.

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  9. That cow FB post is hilarious,...I am beginning to think that FB over-use makes one stupider...me finks that!

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  10. I'm laughing so hard it hurts. I really wish you had slapped the guy who said spayded, but mostly because he wants to "get rid of" someone for whom he was supposed to take responsibility. For quite some time I've been hearing about "career" women scheduling C-sections so they know when they need to take time off work. Fuck heads.

    Love,
    Lola

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  11. Allowing a woman that stupid to breed is a crime against humanity.

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  12. As always, this post made me laugh. I've been kind of slow this week getting caught up on all my 'blog reading'. I am so glad that I made time to read this! Reading your blog is always a bright spot in my day. :)

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  13. Everything is annoying me today. Like literally.. Everything.

    That 'prick with a fork' is brilliant.

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  14. "Prick With a Fork"! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
    Talk about your accidental comedy!!
    I'm going to look for girls IN bikinis on eBay. Wish me luck.

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  15. I am laughing right now almost so hard that I'm crying....

    "Do male cows get milked?"

    Woow! That's funny!

    Like that last picture of a the prick with a fork!

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  16. Love the FB posts..just what i needed tonight lol.
    Some people!

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  17. It is called 'spaded' when you want to get rid of a dog.... or 'shovelled' if you're posh.

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  18. Your "friends" sound almost too stereotypical to be real. Hopefully you can make vacation without snapping and killing someone.

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  19. wow. dirty, how do you take picks of these things it's so cool lol! oh, and how is it you still have these people on your friends' list lol! i don't imagine you tell them they were featured in your blog eh? ;P

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  20. Silly me. I thought the word was "spaded," and it meant that, to keep your pet from breeding, you smashed its head with a shovel.

    Thanks for two hearty laughs. The "bull-milking crack" and the "prick with a fork" ad. I hate the term "LOL," but... I literally did.

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  21. I've missed ya. You never fail to make me laugh.

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  22. Just followed the link through from Shane's poem blog.. I have been sleepless in North Wales since about 4 am .. trawling through FB .. thanks for the laugh.. great post xx

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  23. You're going on holiday? For a month?! Oh My! Take me with you...PLEASE!

    Bikini's in the month of November are hard to come by though. Good luck with that!

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  24. I love all your comments, but individual replies are going to take up half a page - so I will try and summarise. . .the week did get better, until about 10pm friday - since when all I have done is throw up. Better now (I hope) but that's been fun.

    I agree those two probably should not have been allowed to breed, but they did. Four times. I keep these people on my list because they amuse me (and make me feel intelligent), and I know you, my faithful flock, clearly enjoy it when I share.

    Yes, Ainsley Harriott is a huge prick. (No reference to genitals inferred).

    @krouth. Thanks for that :) Sammi is a bright spot for me too.
    @Arlequin & Silver Fox. You are both sick. LOL.
    @Andrea. I take screenshots - and no, it's one of the reasons you never see me advertising my blog on facebook.
    @Monkey. !!!! You're back...properly back ? I hope so.
    @Wildernesschic. You're welcome, stop by anytime.
    @Miss T, Yeah Goa for Xmas and New Year :) Woop Woop !!!

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  25. Holy fuck, so you actually know that human? She should be the subject of some sort of study.

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  26. So much dumbfuckery, my brain almost exploded. First off, as mentioned, braindead people in America also say 'spayded.' Also, I know of more than a few women who want to have C sections, simply because they'd rather have a C section scar than mess up their 'beautiful' vagina. Priorities, people!

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  27. I knew 4 and 3 minutes were up to no good. haha have fun in the sun.

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  28. I only have one Facebook friend like that, but she doesn't update much, or really stupid things like that. I would have gotten pissed off by that stuff, and laughed at that stuff too. I really thought that guide dogs were just furry GPS's though.

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  29. I'm catching up on this, although I've apparently already commented on this post which I can't remember doing. But whatever. I've thought of more things to say.

    5 weeks from when you posted this so.. it's around the like.. 7th December? I was never very good at counting so I may be way out. And that's my excuse :) THis answers the question I emailed you lmao so ignore that one.

    I read or watched or something somewhere that men who watch their partners have a C Section are psychologically less attracted to them afterwards. Can't decide if this is a bad thing or not.

    Your blog has changed.. Aka the background and I'm upset that I've not seen it/noticed it yet so it's very nice :)

    Serious point here - why do you associate with this woman?!

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