enough

I give in. Or give up.
Whatever.
The time has come.

Warning : 'Women's Problems' post coming up.


As much as I might want to carry on kidding myself that I'm still 28, my body is refusing to comply. It's getting harder to carry off anyway, I mean nobodies going to believe that I had Son when I was three are they ? Well not without a huge scandal and at the very least my name in the Guiness Book of Records.

Despite my reservations I am off to the doctors next week to get me some HRT.
Fuck the 'natural' herbal remedies, they aint touching the sides of it, what I need right now are some MASSIVE drugs.
Proper hardcore ones.

Gimme the good shit Doc.

Three times this week I have woke up in what felt like a pool of my own piss paddling pool, but was in fact fucking horrible sweat.
I don't remember the last time I had a decent nights sleep.
My skin itches like I'm coming off smack I've got chicken pox.
I'm having hot flashes in the most inopportune places, in the last two weeks these have included :

• On the train.
• In the queue in the bank.
• Whist picking my friends kid up from school.
• In a taxi

Off topic - got a cab this morning - I think I know the driver - he thinks he recognises me too but we can't figure out where from. Get to work - all day it bugs me - this afternoon I realise he's a guy I fucked a few times about 10 years ago - oops. 
Wonder if he's figured it out yet. . . .

Anyway, back to the big issue, more crucially I want to FUCKING KILL SOMEONE.
Nobody in particular (well there are a few likely candidates) but really anyone would do. If any of you know of anyone you'd like offed let's talk - there would be a large fee involved but I could probably use the hormonal imbalance as a defence and get off with a few years probation and some court ordered therapy.

Oh no your honour. . . that wasn't me, my knife is MUCH bigger.

I have always had a psychotic temper slightly short fuse, but it used to take something big to light that fuse. . .just when it did DUCK AND COVER.
For the last few weeks it feels like it's smouldering away all the time.
The dark thoughts are slowly taking over.
Had some woman in the seat in front of me on the train the other day talking on her phone with a really annoying whiny voice, instead of what I'd normally do. . .ie sit there and make up sarcastic comments about her in my head, I was fantasising about reaching round and shoving her phone down her throat.

I'm a bit worried about myself.
I know what I've been capable of in the past when angry.
Fuck knows what I'd do now if someone REALLY pisses me off.

And let me tell you EVERYONE is pissing me off.

So yeah, the doctors it is. Either that or the life of a secret Ninja assassin, and as I don't know any Kung Fu that's not looking very likely.

Would like to be this . . . 

I'm also a bit too fat to look good in a leather catsuit.
Which is what I imagine myself wearing if I went for that option.

But the reality would probably be more like this . . .

Or maybe I just need one of these . . . 

Okay okay I'll stop the whining now.
*thinks warm fluffy lovely thoughts*
Nah, didn't work. GIVE ME CHOCOLATE.
Here's a cat with a hat.

Awwww. . . .

Ps. Has anyone seen the plumber lately ?