i call these people friends...?

But first this weeks award for most annoying fuckwits.

Charity collectors who have knocked my door three times this week. And every time just as I am eating dinner. Christian Aid, Cancer Research and Save the Children all you're getting from me is a big fat mouthful...and not in a good way. I'm gonna stick a sign on the front door that says FUCK OFF !!!

So anyway, since I've been back at work I've hardly looked at facebook, it has occured to me to delete it - just so people stop sending me messages and stuff that I'm not likely to see. Maybe they could use the old fashioned way and send me a message on my phone, but I do have a few friends and family members on there that I really don't have time to see in the real world so I changed my mind and decided to keep it.

And of course I can stalk son and his new life abroad.

I admit that during my extended time off work I did pass a fair amount of time on facebook, mostly chatting to people - I was never one for posting nonsense or playing fucking stupid games. If I want a cafe or a zoo or a farm I'll go visit a real one, and I'm not remotely interested in your Mafia. If you want to give me a cake I expect to be able to eat it - what use are virtual calories when you got curves to maintain ? And unless I can laugh at the monkeys I don't see the point in having a zoo. The only good thing I can see about it is virtual shit probably doesn't stink.

But as today is a friends birthday and I wanted to message them (yeah, I know, I'm a fucking hypocite) I decided to log in an hour ago and saw the following in my newsfeed.

And I thought my life was exciting.

Well maybe if you tried counting sheep instead of facebook friends ? And why tell facebook, try temazipan. Still I suppose if I was having trouble sleeping I could just read your page.

Surely you should have your eyes on the road not your phone ? Waiting for next update "crashed car and broke my leg bring grapes". This just gives a whole new meaning to the term stupid, not just breaking the law but broadcasting it.

So who do you think is gonna be awake to see this - never mind care ? FYI they didn't have a good day, there was another post about breakfast an hour later (wtf), followed by more - unless a 'good day' is one where you post 35 crap status updates.

Are you trying to tell us you're dirty ?



Unless you choked on them I don't wanna know.



How do you manage your busy life ? Must be exhausting.

Seriously people, what makes them think anyone is interested.

And this . . . . just makes me want to never look at Facebook ever again.

Never mind cut your bunions off I'm hoping someone cuts your internet connection.

Am I missing much ? Am I fuck.
Do I really want to keep in touch with these people ?

Maybe not.

And who in their right mind likes these things ? Don't they realise it's just gonna encourage them.