jibberish

Last night I decided to go through my list of followed blogs and I have come to the conclusion that I am in fact the jinx of new blogs.
Seriously, I found eight that I started to follow when they first began that have not posted since. If it was just one or two then I wouldn't worry, but EIGHT ?
(And this is all within the last few months).

Yup, I think it might be me.

Apparently it's fine if I join an established blog, but you really don't want me to be amongst your first followers, guaranteed to make you lose your mojo faster then you can reply to a comment.

Normally when someone gives me an award I tend to just add it to the trophy cabinet award page, because I do appreciate the thought behind them, but generally I can't be arsed to don't comply with the various conditions that tend to come attached to them.
Rules are made to be broken and all that.
And anyway when they give out the Oscars do they place conditions on them ? Or tell the recipients that they have to pass them on to 45 other people ?

If I get an award I want to wallow in the glory and adulation, I don't want to pass it on and share it.
Call me selfish I don't really care.

Same applies to the tagging posts.
You end up with a feed full of posts from one of the little blog communities all saying the same thing.
But I was recently tagged by Workingdan and found another tag response I started saved in my draft posts, so since I have nothing interesting to write about I'm bored I've decided to reply to them.

Dans first.
I have to answer these questions :

1.  Of all the species in the world, which one is your favourite to eat?
I am so tempted to write one very rude word in response to this. But I won't, I'll stick with the female of the species instead and say chicken. Although I really like fish too.

That explains it then.

Surely if you're craving something you're either hungry or pregnant.

2. What is your favourite recreational substance and why?
I could actually give the same answer as I was going to use for the first question, but I know what he means so MDMA. Although it's been a very long time since I had any.
3. What is your favourite joke to tell?
I have so many - all filthy and all courtesy of my Dad, but I'll stick with this one :
What is the difference between a clitoris and a pub ?
Men can usually find the pub.
4. What do you like most about my blog?
Oh come on ! Could there be a more attention seeking question ?
I think I am supposed to make up four questions of my own and then tag some people.
Fuck that.

This is the other one, it was so long ago I can't even remember who it was that tagged me in it, but I liked the idea. I suppose if any of you are as bored as me you could do it too, being as I haven't got to think up questions to pass it on.
It was called Three. But then it would've made no sense to call it Five.


Three TV programmes that make you cry laughing.
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Pete versus Life
Peep Show


Three songs that made you cry.

Three things (not children) you consider your pride and joy.
My records and technics decks
My cats
My shoes

Three things that constantly annoy you.
Bad spelling and grammar
Rude / stupid people
Train delays

Three things you want to do before you die.
Visit Vietnam
Fly in a military jet (it has to loop the loop too).
Fuck Vin Diesel. Yeah I know, he's gay, but it's my list.

There was another dozen 'three' things, but that's quite enough of that.

I don't know if many of you across the pond will of seen the news a few weeks ago about the cruise ship that sunk in Italy, or be familiar with how inappropriate the UK press can be at times. But this is an actual front page from one of our papers a couple of days after it happened.
Unbelievable and very unfortunate.
And funny.

But then what do you expect from an English paper. . . .

Mind you, I think America has a few problems too.
I have had a feeling all along that Obama might not be quite what he seems. My original thoughts when he was being compared to Martin Luther King were that America was missing something - the man is a black moslem - surely that's more akin to Malcom X ? But apparently I was wrong.

Look at this,

Notice anything odd ?
No ? Well look at this,

That is Doctor Who and his Tardis. Now look again. . . .

Makes me wonder. . . .
We all know that the doctor changes his appearance every time he rejuvenates.
The first black president may in fact be the first black Dr Who.

But don't worry, if he does turn out to be a bad guy Batbear can save you.

As if being a bear isn't scary enough.
I wonder if he lives in a bat cave or a bear cave.

Yeah I'm rambling now.
I will leave you with this, and actual sign on the door of a chemist near where I work.

No, I don't work anywhere near a safari park.

press gang

How ironic is it that one of the biggest scandal mongering newspapers has been forced to shut as a result of a huge scandal involving it's own reporters.

Or scum of the earth ?

For those of you not in the UK the News Of The World is was a Sunday tabloid that filled it's pages with more kiss and tell stories then actual news. It's centre pages were generally filled with someones sordid sex secrets. The paper, which was owned by Rupert Murdoch, thrived on the shame and humiliation it could bring upon public figures. Murdoch is in the process of bidding to own all of BSkyB at the moment, questions are now being asked about his suitability to do so. I hope he is refused, even if he wasn't aware of what was happening, as the owner he has to take ultimate responsibility for all that occurs in his organisation.

The phone hacking scandal that caused it's downfall first came to light a while ago when it was revealed that they had tapped the phones of a few celebrities including Jude Law and Sienna Miller, who recently sued them and received £100,000 in damages.
However it has now been revealed that the paper also hacked the phone of a young woman who was abducted and murdered. When she was first missing and her family realised her phone was still active they kept it topped up and were leaving regular messages for her.
This paper hacked her phone and deleted some of the messages.
The phone was being monitored so of course this was picked up on, this led her family and the police to believe that she was still alive.
Apparently the police have also now questioned the families of two other girls that were abducted and murdered in relation to the same matter.

How fucking low and disgusting is that.
It's bad enough to pry into the lives of celebrities but the false hope they gave that family was cruel and senseless. There is no possible way that it did not occur to whoever deleted those messages what the immediate outcome would be.
The fact that mobile phones can even be hacked so easily raises questions about personal security, but there are also legal issues. The police need warrants to tap phones but if any nosy reporter with access to the right technology can do it then are any of us really safe from prying eyes ?

I know that nothing can ever compensate the family for the loss of their daughter, the person responsible has been imprisoned where he will hopefully rot, but I really hope they sue the paper. The trial has raised concerns over the judicial process because of the way they were treated, so one would imagine that they might not want to ever see a courtroom again but the NOTW should really be made to pay for the extra and unnecessary suffering they caused them and the severe invasion of privacy.
If Sienna Miller gets a hundred grand they should surely be entitled to way more then that.

But isn't it about time something was done about the intrusive nature of the press as a whole ? Even after the death of Princess Diana, where it is acknowledged that they played a part - her car was driving too fast to get away from the paparazzi that followed her every move, they still persist in hounding those considered by them to be legitimate targets.
We live in a society where gossip sells papers and magazines, and for those that court celebrity I guess any publicity is good publicity but a line has to be drawn somewhere.
And do the public that buy these publications not have to take some responsibility for encouraging them ? After all if nobody bought them they might have to have a rethink about the content.

Often at the end of one of the NOTWs salacious articles by some fame hungry slut who slept with a footballer and wanted to tell the world how crap/great he was in bed there would be a number to call if you too had a story about the same person. I wonder how many stupid tarts aspiring models see that as an opportunity to make a few quid, raise their own profile, and set out to sleep with well known people just so they can sell the story.
Quite a lot I bet.

I suppose there is justification for what the papers do if it exposes corruption and crime, but even then is it right for them to break the law to do so ? In the past serious criminals have been set free because police did not follow the correct procedures and the evidence obtained therefore deemed inadmissible in court. Yet it's fine for reporters to break the law and hack phones in the name of freedom of the press ? Then shame whoever the target was into public admissions of guilt.
Although so far it appears that all they have done is hack phones of unfaithful celebrities and distressed families.
So no, no justification there whatsoever.

The investigation into this is ongoing, a few representatives of the paper have been trying to justify their actions to no avail really. Last night one of them was pretty much annihilated by Steve Coogan . . . .

I always thought he was a comedy genius, last night he became a public hero.

Although the NOTW was the UKs biggest selling Sunday paper there are others, and the company that produced it will no doubt just change the name and be back again next week.

A lot of the big companies that used it for advertising announced that they were pulling out before the paper said it was closing, I hope they have enough of a conscience to not use ANY publication produced by the company in the future either. 

Otherwise it just becomes a token gesture.

Loss of revenue is the only way to hit them where it hurts, and for that to have any real effect on an organisation that's worth millions it needs to be sustained long term.

Hopefully other newspaper companies will also learn a lesson from this. But I doubt it.

And you really shouldn't believe all you read in the papers anyway.

Lets face it even the weather report is usually a load of bollocks.

I'm off to tart myself up and see if I can pull a third rate footballer.
I have a gas bill needs paying.

newsworthy ?

I am beyond fed up with hearing about the extra marital exploits of Ryan Giggs.

I made him a new shirt.

First we had all the ‘who is it ?’ fiasco about this ‘super injunction’ that was supposed to keep us all from finding out who had the affair with a Big Brother “star”…ie bint who kept her name in the papers once her five minutes of BB fame was over by getting her tits out for lads mags.
Thanks to Twitter and the power of the information highway that didn’t stay secret for long - although there was already enough speculation, but then if nobody knew it was him how did they know it was her ? Most people forgot who she was a long time ago, well apart from the followers of her glamour 'career' (why is it called glamour modelling when you get your bits out and just modelling when your wearing designer clothes ? I know which one I think is more glamorous) but Giggs is very well known - even I know who he is and I make a point of NOT following football.

Apparently his lawyers are planning to sue Twitter.
Here’s a thought Ryan - maybe you should’ve just kept your cock in your pants ?
Whose the really guilty party here ? Not Twitter that’s for sure.


No secrets.

Then his brothers wife decides to spill the proverbial beans and let's it be known that she’d been fucking him ‘on and off’ (ha !) for EIGHT years. All the while married to his brother. This sorry piece of ass is now whining that her marriage is over. Really ? You are quoted by a friend as saying that you just “couldn’t get enough” of your husbands brother then expect said husband to stay ?
And no doubt only confessed in the first place because you got an attack of the green eyed monster when you heard about the BB slapper. Your cheating lover can't be trusted ? Who would've thought.
What a fucking bitch.
Unbelievable.

Meanwhile back at the ranch some other floozy has decided to come forward and tell us all that she has also been shagging Giggs. I'm surprised his knobs not fallen off. According to the news item I’ve just seen she rang the sister-in-law and said you’re not the only one. No doubt with a reporter from one of the tabloids listening in.
Wonder how much she’s getting paid for her story.
And I wonder how many more women are going to come forward now, because any man that can cheat on his wife with his brothers wife clearly has no morals or respect for anyone, and you can be sure there are others.

He’s also obviously stupid, no surprise there then. But most people that cheat at least have the common sense to realise that there’s a reason it’s called playing AWAY from home.
And given that Giggs is a premiership football player you would think he could understand the difference between home and away.
Yeah, stupid.
Family get togethers are going to be interesting now.

The only person in all this who I felt any amount of sympathy for is Giggs’s wife, bad enough finding out your husband has cheated with a fame hungry bimbo who no doubt thought she saw an opportunity to fuck her way further up the ladder of non-entities and threw herself at him.
But to then have to hear all the other shit. Including your sister in law ?
I’ve never understood women who find out they’re being cheated on and want to take it out on the other woman, she wasn't the one cheating was she ? He's the one deserves a bobbit.
But in that situation I think I’d be round her house stamping on her face.

And yet the wife is apparently ‘standing by him’.
That I don’t understand - why stick with someone who has pretty much publicly humiliated you ?
If your husband has been having an eight year affair along with various other indiscretions wouldn’t you think that your marriage was a lie.
Love is blind I guess.

He’s not the first and nor will he be the last public figure to be exposed in this way, and if you live your life in the public eye then you can expect the public to be just as interested when you make a mistake as when you score the winning goal or bring about world peace. More so really. I think as much as we love to worship at the cult of celebrity we love it even more when they are caught with their pants down and proved to be far from perfect.
These fame hungry wannabe’s who set out to court the press and bring attention to themselves for whatever minor talent they have, (usually showing their tits), then scream injustice when it turns against them are hilarious.
Having the tabloids discover your affairs or criminal record is the modern equivalent of a public stoning.

Are there any women here today ?

Gossip sells magazines and papers, and if it’s gossip about the sex lives of the rich and famous even better.
It bothers me though that these items seem to get far more coverage then the really important things that are happening in the world. Sometimes I wonder if there isn’t a conspiracy between the media companies and the government.
“The economies going to shit, soldiers are dying in Afghanistan and the world is still at risk of impending nuclear disaster from Japan but keep feeding them information about Giggsy’s cock and they won’t notice“.

When was the last time you saw an update about Fukushima on the news ? Or the thousands of people still homeless and suffering as a result of all that happened in Japan. I have been following a spreadsheet via The Guardian, an intelligent paper’s website, regarding the state of the reactors. If you want to know click here. Be warned though, it’s not good.

Thanks to the internet and satellite TV we are no longer limited to what our own countries press choose to feed us, it’s quite interesting to look at foreign news sites and see how different stories are portrayed. Newsreel propaganda did not end with the second world war, and it isn’t just confined to the far east.

I have seen this happen very close to home.
I worked with a kid who whilst out with friends had accidentally set light to a bin shed under a block of flats.
No real harm was done, when the boys realised what was happening ( they threw a cigarette end in the bin thinking it was out ) they had called the fire brigade before running away. However this particular boy was known to the police because he often tried to run away from the home, and as there was CCTV footage he was arrested. Because of the ‘criminal code’ he refused to ‘grass’ the other boys with him and so he alone was taken to court.

When the local newspaper picked up on this story it was reported that he was a dangerous arsonist who had tried to endanger the lives of the residents in the flats, and that he was in care because he was out of control.
Luckily they were not allowed to print his name.
He was in fact a very scared 13 year old boy who was in care because his mother was a heroin addict. And it was his voice recorded on the 999 call to the fire brigade.
That used to be the only paper I would buy, I’m not interested in the tabloids - but after that I stopped.

It’s one thing to write damning reports about politicians, pop stars and footballers with scandalous affairs and corruption, but a child ?

As for the attention seeking celebrities - I guess they get what they deserve, I just don’t want to hear about it every fucking time I turn the TV on.
There are way more important and interesting things happening in the world right now.