easter bunny

Normal service appears to have returned to England.

Our garages have fuel, the long queues are gone and in keeping with a typical British bank holiday weekend the weather has taken a turn for the worse. Parts of the country that were baking in sunshine last week are now covered in snow, thankfully I live in the South and we never get the worst weather but I am back to wearing Uggs on my feet that have tan lines from last week.
Very bizarre.
Global warming ? Global freezing more like.
Easter weekend is always a wash out though, it's as traditional as the delays that will no doubt plague all our airports, and the hoards of screaming brats happy smiling children that suddenly appear everywhere.
Not that it bothers me, as I have four days off work I plan to sleep. A lot. And hang wallpaper. And catch up on reading some blogs, I have not done that for ages so apologies if you are missing my inane drivel pearls of wisdom left in your comments.
And hopefully someone will buy me a HUGE chocolate egg.
Son has a new job, so hopefully if I post this picture on his facebook he might just take the hint.

I love Green & Blacks. . . does anybody want to send me some ? Please.

I might not be into Christianity but I am more then happy to indulge in any eating associated with it's various festivals. I'll even accept Christmas pudding if anyone's got any leftovers lying around in their cupboards ? That is probably the only thing I missed by spending last years Xmas laying on a beach, I did buy one that I planned to eat when I got back but the greedy wombfruit had scoffed the lot.

I was thinking about the Easter story today, as my friends kid was talking about stuff he had done at school, and there's a fair bit about it that really doesn't make sense to me. I suppose I am what some people might call spiritual, I believe in an afterlife (I've had my share of spooky encounters), reincarnation, karma and destiny, but I don't believe in God. I think that Jesus was an actual man who walked on Earth, but the stories about his life that are in the bible sound to me like he was some kind of Shaman or spiritual healer. And just like any story that gets written on a blog passed down through the generations it's been exaggerated and embellished.

I don't think he was the son of "God".

I think that all came about because people always want a rational explanation for anything they don't understand.

According to the story God sent his only son to earth in order to sacrifice him.

Hmmm.

I'm a parent and if anyone tried to harm my son I would tear their fucking head off. And I'm just an ordinary (well ok maybe I'm a bit strange) woman, but if I was some amazing all-seeing omnipotent mistress of the universe and someone tried to hurt him ?

Yeah I think there'd be thunderbolts and lightening alright.

But no, apparently he allowed his only child to be sacrificed. Did they not have Social Services in those days ? If you said you were going to sacrifice your kid today they'd be taken into care.

Hardly the actions of a kindly benevolent normal parent.

Religious men advocating child abuse ?

I thought he was supposed to be Jewish not Catholic.

But anyway, apparently after this happened the crucified Jesus was put in a cave and a few days later he rose from the dead.

Since Christians aren't supposed to believe in reincarnation that can only mean one thing.

Jesus was a Zombie.

And it seems that I am not the only one to think so. This thought occurred to me earlier and when I googled "zombie Jesus" looking for pictures (try it, you'll see) for this post there is just loads of stuff about it on the net. And if it's on the Internet that must mean loads of people are brainwashed idiots believe it and if loads of people believe something then it must be true.

Isn't that how religions are started.

And political parties.

Dave's at it again too. His latest idea is all about allowing - well I'm not entirely sure who, but the police for one I guess - powers to read everyone's Internet communications. This is supposed to be about our national security and catching paedophiles, but then in today's world climate terrorism and child molesters are two issues that are guaranteed to get everyone riled up. So tell the public that's why you're doing it and they'll all agree it's a good idea.

Yeah, I'm not buying it.

Big Brother is watching you.

And Dave just wants to be able to hack into my msn and look at the pictures, and he's probably wondering if Obama and his new mate Sarkozy are talking behind his back.

Personally I think that the Internet has meant that a lot more perverts are caught then ever were before, they have always been there, but before the web and the way that enabled them to communicate and share filth it was all far harder to detect. In my opinion technology has made them easier to catch, find one with a computer and you find all his contacts too. How many times now do we hear of people being convicted based upon evidence that was found on their computers. And I'm damn sure MI5 have the same powers when it comes to finding terrorists.

So whatever Dave might say this new idea is really not going to make much difference there.

Is he planning to spend his days reading everyones emails now ?

Maybe he's going to be inspecting blogs as well. Good. He might finally find the letters I wrote to him and see sense.

Mind you, I will probably be far too busy and exhausted to help him run the country once my latest ebay find arrives. . . 

Nobody told me you could get Diesel powered injectors for your Vag.

Bit concerned about the shape of the thing but gotta be worth a try, even if the compatibility information isn't available. I'll let you know.

Rabbit ? This is my Easter Bunny.

I'm off to the garage, I need to stock up on Diesel just in case there's another shortage.

Happy Easter !

Watch out for the Zombies.

jesus loves you . . . .

. . . . . .and he clearly wants you to enjoy yourself and each other.

You gotta wonder if the people who made these are really that innocent that they didn't know how they could be interpreted.
Too good not to share.
Plus I'm feeling far to lazy to write a proper post tonight.
Found on a website that a friend facebooked me a link to, not sure about copyright as couldn't see anything so I've linked the original article at the bottom.

Enjoy.

Who would've thought ?

Must be a catholic church.

But it's clearly torture for left handed people.

Me too . . . . on both counts.

Does it mention rimming in the bible ?

All that money wasted on KY. . . who knew ?

Depends which entrance you use.

Peter who ? Had Tom, Dick and Harry but no Peter . . ah well, doomed.

Just not too quickly eh.

I prefer doggy myself.

But be mindful of blisters.

Original post.http://www.someecards.com/2011/04/12/unintentionally-sexual-church-signs

call that holiness ???

What the fuck is it with the Catholic church.

Have just seen an item on the news about Roger Vangheluwe, a Catholic bishop accused of child sexual abuse.
Apparently the church sent him away to some retreat and said that he was receiving ‘spiritual help’, but instead this monster has been on Belgium TV talking about the assaults on two of his own nephews saying that it wasn’t abuse as the boys concerned didn’t seem to mind and pretty much trying to justify his actions by saying there was no violence involved.
It began when one of them was five years old.

No denial mind you.

And the fucking paedophile is STILL a priest.

The Catholic church in Belgium has voiced anger and disgust at the actions of Vangheluwe but the only person who can take the priesthood away from him is the pope who, according to the news, is considering the matter.

What’s to consider ?

The fuckwit is on TV, not the contemplative seclusion you sent him to, and not just admitting the offence but actually condoning his actions.

There are a lot of things that anger me about this, I’ve worked with abused children so these issues are always going to rile me.

But in this instance it’s the Church I’m taking issue with.
For the longest time the Vatican denied all the allegations made against it’s clergy and there have been plenty over the years.
But recently the pope apologised for the crimes against children committed in the past.

If he even needs to think about whether this latest loser should be excommunicated then that apology means fuck all.

inappropriate ? yeah but it's true

Personally I am not at all religious - never have been.
I was made to go to a Christian Sunday school and say prayers as a child but even then I questioned what I was being told. In my opinion religion is the cause of most wars and atrocities are committed in its name.
It divides people and nations instead of uniting them.

we're all doomed

I prefer to live my life as it comes and be a good person through conscience and moral values. I believe in Karma but I don’t think I’m going to hell because I’ve taken drugs, had plenty of sex without ever being married and can’t resist stealing the odd jar of coffee from Asda.

However I get that some people feel the need to believe in something and that’s up to them, I would neither condemn or condone another persons beliefs.


But the Catholic church is outdated, out of touch, sexist, homophobic and still harbouring monsters in its midst.

If it were any other kind of organisation it would be taken to trials, tribunals and called to account.

And the perpetrators of crimes against children would be imprisoned not sent to sanctuaries and allowed to defend themselves on public television.