muddy waters

How are you supposed to find your tent amongst that ?

This week-end is Glastonbury festival, the most famous of all the UKs music festivals.
Obviously I am not there.
Well how sad would that be if I was, sat in my tent with a rubbish dongle connection writing on my blog. Although I have a few friends that are there and unbelievably have been posting updates on Facebook.
YOU'RE AT A FUCKING FESTIVAL ! Go listen to music, play with poi and forget your phone. We're all going to see 3466 photos of your muddy boots and toilet queues half an hour after you get back anyway.

I do love camping and I have been to plenty of festivals, but I preferred them when they were smaller, illegal, free and run by travellers. Nowadays for the most part they are huge commercial affairs, and while the money they now make means that the best bands will play at them I have no desire to get lost, caked in mud and lose my tent and my mates.

No thanks.

However this year I did consider it because U2 (who I love) are playing. But then why pay all that money for the week-end for one band ?

And the one thing that always pisses me off about live music is you wait all night for the one song you really love and what do the band do ?
Point the microphone at the audience for them to sing it. Fuck off ! If I wanna hear me sing it I can stay at home and do that anytime.

Bono has just done that . . . “Is it getting better . . . . “ *points mic at crowd and stops singing*
Yup, glad I’m not there.
Instead I am watching it from the comfort of my sofa where it is warm and dry and will be sleeping in my king size bed as opposed to a bound-to-be-deflated-in-the-morning airbed.

I hate it when that happens.
You go to sleep in a cold but otherwise relatively comfortable tent and wake up in the morning in a sauna with the indent of several large rocks in your arse because the sun came out and then the plug came out of the mattress.
Either that or some drunken knob trips over your tent ropes and the roof caves in. As much as I enjoy camping I still like my little comforts.
I have been known to take my quilt and several cushions, much to the amusement of friends. I get the last laugh though because I can guarantee if it rains them fuckers will be wanting to come and sit in my tent. Whose the smartass now and no I don't care if your back aches and you need to crash out for a bit.
Yeah right.

Talking about crashes the thing that’s annoyed me the most this week has been the death of Ryan Dunn. Well not so much his death as the apparent facebook / internet wide mourning that’s followed, and the rumours that the whole thing is an elaborate stunt. Of course it’s tragic when anyone dies, I’m sure his family and friends are devastated and rightly so, and possibly they take some comfort from the knowledge that their loved one will be missed by so many people, but I wonder how his mother will feel if people are asking her if it's real.

I have seen plenty of people saying that he was a legend and a hero.
And a couple of days ago I saw this :

You're kidding right ? Nope she's deadly serious.

But is he really some sort of hero ?
Yeah Jackass was the best thing to come out of MTV, no doubt endless repeats are going to be shown now too, that can only be a good thing.
But lets clarify a few things here - apparently the last thing he did before he got into his Porsche and drove it at 110mph in a 50mph zone killing himself and his passenger, was post pictures to his twitter account of himself drinking in a bar.

Is that the kind of person you call a hero ?
I don’t think so.
Heroes save lives, they don’t endanger others. A hero is the member of the emergency services who risks his life to save others and pulls victims from car wrecks, not the fools that cause them. If an ordinary member of the public had been driving that car they would be all over the papers for being a criminal and killing the passenger.

Nuff said.

Don’t portray him as some kind of James Dean cult celeb who was ‘taken all too soon’ - yeah, I’ve seen that statement used a few times in the last week - he killed himself he wasn’t ’taken’, but he took a friend with him. Use his well publicised death as a lesson to other idiots who think they are invincible and drive like cunts after drinking.

In irresponsible hands a car is a murder weapon.
I know - one killed my mother.
But if anyone reading this happens to attend the funeral please tell Knoxville that if he feels the need for a sympathy shag I’m happy to oblige.

Best not mention this post though.